Christmas Is Canceled Fa-La-La-La-Freaking-Da

It's been a while. Wish I had some excitement, some great news to share, memories to write out, general good times to recall. There has been lots of tv watching and online stress shopping. Christmas is canceled in the Happy Wife House and I'm okay with that. Last week, it was 80 frickin' degrees, so it doesn't feel all that festive anyway. I don't have one tree out, not one string of lights, not one ornament or wreath.

No dates since the last post. Ha! Romance. Dates. Ha ha hahahahahahah. At this point, I'd just like to see my husband sometime like in the house. Around the living room or something. Heh. The hubby has been working 7 days a week, gone before I get up and back after I'm asleep, and I stopped nagging about it pretty quickly after I realized how exhausted and overworked he was getting. Then I flipped over for a while to a "there's lots of meals for you in the fridge!" and "something broke but I'm taking care of it" mentality. The washer died and I was all, "Not today, B*tch" and I went to Sears and bought a washer/dryer in about 5 minutes and called it a day.

Side note: 5 minutes is not long enough to make an informed decision about that. I unknowingly bought not only a high efficiency washing machine but a steam dryer. Hopefully we will be laughing about this for many years to come (in that hopefully they will not break and/or I will not kill them out of anger at their he and steam-y goodness).

Taking care of things and the husband ended the longer Maverick-the-dog's saga wore on. I haven't been to the store in a month and I'm not using things long enough to even know if they are breaking. She's has been so sick that I A) no longer have any cuticles because I bit them all off and B) discovered that Xanax does nothing in my body. I might as well just eat a cracker. Which, along with jello and cereal, is all I've been able to eat for the past, what, 3 weeks now? I mean, I attempt to eat other things, but then I am violently sick. Sometimes some rice and chicken are worth it; other times, more jello for me.

At one point, I puked 12 times in 8 hours, having to stay on the floor of the bathroom when I wasn't puking during that time since any move farther just led to a faster recourse of more puking. I actually said to my husband (since I did see him at 2 am since half of this was at night, he stood over me concerned as I stayed still under a couple towels for warmth on the bathroom floor), "I am enjoying the puking." Which is how he knew I was sick. That isn't like me. But I felt so horrible that every time I puked, I had like a reprieve for about 20 minutes, so therefore, I enjoyed the puking. My husband asked, "Who are you and what have you done with my wife?"

He's been so busy that I drove myself to the doctor that week. I am proud of myself for that. I hate going to the doctor, but I needed her to tell me that this wasn't an illness made entirely from my mind and from my stress. She assured me what I was experiencing was some sort of bug. Sure. Let's go with that versus I have totally lost my sh*t.

Mav has had more than her share of the medical world this fall and winter. She's had blood tests and UAs and ultrasounds and all day in-house tests and admittance to the emergency vet to the point that for a while there, she was gone more than she was home. That was horrible to say the least. There is nothing worse than coming home to a Mav-free house. She was finally diagnosed with Adrenal-Dependent Cushing's Disease, which meant there was a tumor on one or both of her adrenal glands. A tumor that needed to be removed. Did you know CT scans alone cost $1,000? We didn't even get to the part where they would draw up an estimate for surgery. Holy hell.

Of course, Mav's "tumor" wasn't able to be located (hence no surgery right now), which led to more tests and then a new conclusion last week that maybe it isn't Adrenal-Dependent Cushing's Disease. Please shoot me. There is a specialist I am trying not to piss off who likes to say things like "I'm totally at a loss right now" and "I have no idea what's happening. It makes no sense." She also likes to say things like "We've never seen anything present like this" and "It's just a mess. Mav's just a big mess."

IT IS REALLY HARD NOT TO YELL AT THIS PERSON.

But we need her and I need her to not like spit in Mav's open cavity during surgery or whatever.

Anyway, I decorated for fall like a boss but by the time Thanksgiving came and went, I didn't want to spend any extra energy on Christmas. Actually, "want" isn't the correct word. I couldn't. Basically anything that isn't necessary right now is out the window. I have no ability for anything else. I am trying to be present and enjoy having Mav next to me, and I'm not doing anything that takes me out of that state of mind. Right now, she is in the middle of "7 days of stress-free life" before she can have yet another test. Stress-free life for a Weimaraner is hilarious and means I have an excellent excuse to not use the vacuum. Also, the kids across the street aren't allowed on their bikes and the UPS man needs to stop ringing the bell. Heh. It also means I can't take her on car rides or even to pick up stuff at the vet office since that gets her all excited. Poor Mav.

After one particularly horrible week where she had spent most of her time in a tiny cage in an animal hospital, I picked her up and had to bring her back the next day. Now, she had been so stressed out and had such an array of awful medical things happen to her that I thought it might be difficult to even get her back in the building. I mean, they really had done a (necessary) number on her.

We got there, and she ran to the door, got in the building, and, as always, wanted to get at every other dog, person in the waiting area, lady behind the counter, and vet tech in the place. Super speed wags, big drool-y smile, heavy happy panting. They took her to the back as she followed beyond thrilled, and when they returned her to me, they said she had kissed the vet and vet tech throughout the blood draw and visit. And something about that just broke me in about a million pieces and it took everything I had not to cry. She just bounded up my legs and planted some good kisses square on my face and was just as ready to go as she had been to stay.

That's where we're at and hopefully things will calm down soon and I'll have happier posts in the future. At the very least, I can dig out the late but still impressive fall decoration photos from the camera. We've had our good moments. I'm caught up on White Collar, have discovered the Macy's website, and am functioning at a level where I actually get dressed in real clothing on a daily basis. Mav still dances for every meal, grabs her plush toys and makes a beeline for the spot next to where I'll be on the couch, and lets the cats pay her more attention than usual. The hubby, well, he's employed still, and his Christmas break is coming sooner than later, and he has at least 6 soccer games on the DVR. We're still pretty damn blessed this holiday season.

Fall Leaves, If It Ever Arrives!

The hubby has PROMISED to take me to Elk Park either after work this week or this weekend. When we went to see Daniel Tosh, there wasn't one damn tree on the drive that was changing color. And I was looking. I. Was. Looking.

My husband, not making a joke, said, "Hey, I think it's going to be one of those years where we don't have a fall. I saw some trees near work that were losing their leaves. Their green leaves."

So... Then I fought some kind of violent reaction since this is not my husband's fault, although he is the one that made us live here, here I guess being somewhere without my favorite season.

A couple days ago he said, "I can't believe it. I swear September used to be cold! And definitely by October, it always is!" His car had said it was 93 degrees on his drive home.

Oh, shall I clutch my gut and laugh a hearty laugh? So amused, am I? NO. NOT AMUSED.

And then, I took Mav the dog out in the middle of the night, and in my shorts and tank top, thought that it was actually chilly. I took the garbage out yesterday and there were leaves under my feet. Crunch, crunch. They were starting to pile up on the sides of the street. Yellows, browns. Oh my stars! Am I going to be able to turn off the air conditioning?

Checked out my backyard. Still green, green, green. But other backyards, the colors were changing fast. FALL!

So, soon, our next date will be surrounded by all things autumn. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside knowing there is a chill in the air. Cider for everyone!

I also found this. And it cemented my fall feelings. I may have shed a tear, so moved I was by this article.

Hey Mom and Dad, don't judge me for this link. Warning: Adult Vocabulary.

I have light up pumpkins. Leaf shaped tableware. A singing plush candy corn. I took out all my grandmother's china from the china cupboard and put in fall themed decor. I'm with you, article! Fall is here finally! And so another date is on the horizon! I can barely sit still. I'm ready to go now! Oh, yeah, I forgot. The hubby has this whole job thing going on and can't just drop that to take me to look at leaves. But he better do it soon, because if fall leaves before I even get to see it arrive, I will be cranky until the Christmas lights come out.

Even I Can't Stretch Our Activites This Past Weekend Into A Date

Oh, cruel exhaustion and cranky hunger. This weekend we had tentative plans to go out and see a movie, walk through the dog museum... Something. It all depended on how we felt.

We had a stressful Friday. I didn't realize how worried I had been about taking a couple stray cats to the vet. I guess playing out possible scenarios in my head just led to a prolonged spike in blood pressure and a week of insanity on my part. Of course, the appointment went beautifully and the hubby and I still have vet privileges with my favorite veterinarian ever. One of my worst imagined possibilities was that he would throw up his hands and be done with us and all our actual pets. But then, how would he ever retire without us? The husband, always the voice of reason and calming influence, did so much to help me but it wasn't until it was all over that I finally relaxed. I guess I'd been one big ball of tense for days without even realizing it.

We had a lot of together time this weekend... But season 4 of Dexter also finally arrived from Netflix (it is wrong how happy that made me) and the hubby got to play a significant amount of his Soldier-y Battle game (what? Isn't that what it's called? Or is it Battle-y Soldiers?).

There was a chorus of "No, Dexter!" and gasping mixed with "Where is he? WHERE IS HE SHOOTING ME FROM!!! THIS IS BULLSH*T!" that met in the hallway and made beautiful indie music together... Yeah. We have our independent interests! That is good for a relationship! I will not give in! It's healthy! To be addicted to a show and a game... AH! Back it up, I am not diving any deeper into that right now.

Does napping count as a date? There was napping. Sort of. We were technically spending time together. Although his snoring could only charm me for so long during each nap since I have daytime insomnia (it's a thing! Right?). I got up because I can only be still and conscious for so long and watched Project Runway Saturday and made cupcakes Sunday. But I stared adoringly at him for the first 20 minutes each nap, so that's kind of romantic... Or creepy... We're married so I'm going with romantic. It's not stalking if he married you.

We also went somewhere that awakened the explorers and navigators within... Oooooo. Adventurous. So what if it was Sam's Club? They handed out a map when we walked through the door. They've moved everything in the entire damn warehouse. We're going to be confused for at least a year. We only deviated from the list once (Halloween candy!) so that counts as both productive and teamwork-y. Granted, I also got some spiced apple juice (juice was on the list! Shut it!) and then went into a diatribe about how Fall's here...

Time for the hottest summer on record in St. Louis to end!

Time for leaves to fall!

Time for pumpkin flavored everything!

TIME FOR ME TO BUST OUT THE FALL DECORATIONS.

Time for kitty puke to come in fall colors. Oh, fake fall foliage and its magical hold over kitties.

In other words, pre-Christmas time! Holla!

On second thought, I can see how this might not be construed as the most date-filled of weekends.

We did draw all the curtains and cuddle on the couch while watching an instant Netflix movie. This was followed by a couple episodes of Archer that we'd already seen. What is better than you and yours both finding the same thing equally hilarious? Good bonding! It counts! Right? RIGHT? Oh, fine.

We made puzzle date seem REALLY EXCITING. I concede. Less than date-worthy weekend wins this round. But it'll be the weekend again before we know it. We can do this! Right? Right! I will do a victory lap! I WILL!