Friday, August 6, 2010

The Randomness That is Don King (AKA The Mark Wahlberg/Will Ferrell Date)

On Tuesday, it was announced that St. Louis had won a facebook competition where Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg would come and do "the other premier" for The Other Guys on Thursday. Theater location? The little quiet theater the hubby and I always go to in Chesterfield, Missouri. Yeah. So weird.

Tickets were not for sale - they were given away by radio stations and so on. With the possible furniture delivery we were expecting, we didn't give it too much thought. As Thursday went on, and the furniture movers were a no show picking up the stuff in northern Indiana, we knew not to expect them. I threw on my bright red Big Bang Theory Bazinga shirt and we headed over to Chesterfield around 4:30 pm (the "red carpet" was supposed to happen at 6:30).

We drove by and were amazed at the crowd. Instead of parking and getting a closer look, we went to Sonic and ate supper. Mmmmmm. Popcorn chicken, mozzarella sticks, and a Campfire Blast. So tasty. Which led me to be in a good enough mood to let my husband persuade me to have one more look at the premier location.

We parked and decided to walk around. If facing the theater, the red carpet was set up on the right hand side. We parked in the far left parking lot, where the line was going around the building.

 This is me saying, "I'm not getting in that line.
Let's just go look at the red carpet part and then leave."


We passed the main part of the theater.
Sweet Jesus, look at all these people!


When we get to the left side, we are faced with a lot of random space.
So we stand by the rail. 


I think we may have just cut a line that didn't know what it was doing. We decide, since it's a quarter past five already, we'll just stand here a bit. It's a different experience. Some people have been there since 7 am. We just take in the crowd, read the signs, and talk about how strange it is that this is happening at our movie theater.

We almost die laughing at the "Say 'hello' to your mother for me" sign for Mark Wahlberg.
Oooo, we say, someone has a lot of balls. And they're gonna get kicked. By Marky Mark.


Time passes and someone informs the line that there is a crapload of space to fill in where they can actually see the red carpet. Other St. Louis "celebrities" are supposed to show up before the main event. There are radio station DJs with microphones talking to the crowd and doing a few ticket giveaways.

This man arrives.


My husband yells the following to me several times over the crowd,
"It's B.B. King! It's B.B. King!"

I end up being really glad I did not yell "Hi, B.B. King" out as he walked right by us, since it turns out, he was Don King. Don King, as the radio DJs mentioned several times, was not really expected at this event. He randomly showed up and walked the road part of the red carpet and the red carpet part of the red carpet. Up and down. Several times. At one point, half an hour after he got here and after some other people had walked the red carpet, I heard one DJ say, "Hey, there's Don King again. He's wandering the red carpet some more." The DJ tried and failed to curb his own laughter.

Then, as magically as he had appeared, Don King left. Didn't really say anything or do anything other than wander. He had worn a very sparkly jacket with his face on the back of it and waved a handful of small American flags. I don't know what else to say about it. "What the what" sums it up, I think.

Other "celebrities" came. If you think Mayor Slay showing up counts. Sure, why not. Then, Rampage and Fredbird ran through the crowd (they're the Rams and Cardinals mascots). I was actually a little excited to see Redbird. Love ya, Cards! Fans dressed up in costumes, most like they were in the movie Elf. Some costumes were more elaborate than others. There were a lot of people with cowbells.


There was a rumor some Rams players were going to show up (to which I said to my husband, "Awesome! Not one person here one will know their names." A man who was not my husband found this very funny.). Then, a handful of Blues hockey players walked through instead, which would have been great if we had known who they were. We just saw some tall thin white guys in dress shirts and slacks walk by and the crowd sort of murmured to itself saying, "They cannot be football players." Not particularly tall or broad shouldered and looking like they might cash in at a buck twenty soaking wet. I think to myself, "If they are our football team, I think this rocket scientist in her Big Bang Theory shirt just figured out why we never win any games."

When the Rams players did show up, they did not walk through the part we were at. They only walked on the actual red carpet and therefore bypassed about 75% of all the people waiting and lining the rest of the walking areas. I think it would have been cool to see them. We've thought maybe we'd go to a game this year. For our exciting dating that we're doing. So that wasn't too impressive that the players totally ignored basically everybody. Great job, Rams, sucking in a whole new way there.

Everyone else who came to walk the red carpet also only walked the short actual carpet distance. We couldn't see any of them but honestly, if the rapper Chingy had spent time walking by us, I would have only known who he was by listening to the yells of those around me who would have recognized him. I could be stuck on an elevator with Chingy and I'd never know.


See in the photo how there is a walkway on the road right in front of us? Yeah, so it was just Don King taking laps around that and no one else really seemed to care. The actual red carpet is in front of the big lights. There is a section of people between us and that (which no one could see over). The crowd around me started to get upset, thinking that the stars they had come to see wouldn't walk where most of us could see them.

I asked my husband, "How much of a mob do you think there'll be when Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell don't walk by everyone over here?"

He replied, "Big. Won't be good."

We jokingly embraced and I said, "If this is how we die, it's been a good ride with you, Honey!"

6:30 came and went. Every time a plane flew overheard or a helicopter whirled by, the crowd went crazy. Finally, about an hour late, the dark SUVs pulled up and out came Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell. They did not just walk the red carpet. They came through our area first, and although we hadn't waited all day like some people, we were in prime real estate. My husband stood behind me on the curb with the camera and filmed it. I stood right in front of him, my feet and hands on the gate. I was literally inches away from both of them as they came through! Nothing but my own self control stopping me from getting to them! Well, to Will. A couple minutes with some good shots of the actors, my lovely captioning, and all the background screaming you could ever want to hear can be found here:


We didn't have anything for them to sign, mostly because who thought we'd be in that situation? Not us. There wasn't time for them to have a lot of one-on-one with their fans right then anyway. Still, I thought they handled the crowd (of "thousands" as our newspaper reported today) really well. They stopped and signed a lot of stuff and did not rush by us. And although we didn't stay for the whole thing or have tickets to see the premier with them, it was a really odd, rare event that we got to experience.

I did get dinner and a show of sorts, so it counts. A really weird date that had a lot of standing around, amusing ourselves, and ended with seeing an actor we both love (and one we don't love... or hate). High fives. Rockin' the obscure date.

My only regret? Not owning a bedazzler and having had the wherewithal and planning to make the world's most awesome B*tch Hunter shirt.

I wish I was kidding about that. I am so lucky my husband puts up with me.

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