I Have A Little Winning, Too, Ramadan

So, my post 2 seconds ago was a little negative. The delivery was a little group of presents I got for the hubby. So there, Ramadan! I have some winning, too! I'm not the worst person on the planet!

Also, for the cultural record, gift giving isn't the way we (or anyone?) celebrate Ramadan.

I'm just too Midwestern to not be all, "Important holy days? EQUAL PRESENTS! AMERICA! 'MERICA!"

I mean, I may or may not have been part of a "Clowns For Christ" group in high school. That's how I know there is a god. Because there is no photographic evidence of that fact.

I bought 2 grill pans because the hubby is missing steak. My history with grill pans is not great. I have yet to find one that is easy to clean. These two were not pricey and were well reviewed on Amazon, so I thought I'd give 'em a shot.

I mentioned our oven broke, yes? I haven't mentioned how we're too lazy to shop for a new one. The electrician said the stove top burners still work, and although I was reluctant at first to use them despite his total confidence in them, I have come around. Now all we can't do really is bake or broil, and broiling was really the only thing we did on a regular basis.

Meat! It's what's for dinner!

I also bought the hubby 2 CDs and a book.

The hubby has wanted to read Moneyball since we saw the movie.

And, since he still only listens to the same 7 CDs

he had in college, I decided to try to expand his collection.

He loves Smashing Pumpkins

but hasn't bought a CD since, oh, 1994,

and I'm pretty sure the other guy

is from System of a Down,

which is another of his favorite bands.

Of which he has like, 4.

SOAD = a little too RAHR RAHR for me.

If I could whistle, I would whistle the tune

to Call Me Maybe right now.

I like a lot of terrible music.

Although I got 3 Glen Campbell CDs in the box.

I realize I am 50 years late to that party,

but he is awesome.

My iTunes is up to 9,088 songs.

They aren't all terrible.

At least like a couple are decent.

Isley 4 seconds after the presents came out of the box.

Pandora is also helping display the hubby's surprise.

Hope he likes everything!

More Posing Questions - What Did Happy Wife Buy On The Internet This Week?

Mav the dog is still bringing it big time. Just when I think for a few sweet, beautiful hours that she's feeling better, she kicks it up a notch. Her new thing is to seize and massively throw up at the same time. Usually in bursts of 3 over a 15 minute period.

My response is about as awesome as her actual illness. I say-scream, "You're okay! I got you! Snap out of it! You're fine! Quit it! SNAP OUT OF IT!" all while vigorously holding her and petting her. Because what she needs is redirection! HA!

Fun thought: I am so glad that I am not working right now. What if my dog nursing skills crossed over into my people nursing skills?

In a crisis, I would just grab the patient and scream, "SNAP OUT OF IT! IT'S OKAY! QUIT! QUIT! I GOT YOU! YOU'RE FINE!"

I find this thought way too hilarious. Probably because it's so true. At this point, I'm so tired and stressed out that I could actually see myself doing this to a poor, unsuspecting sick person.

Double bonus fun thought: My nursing mostly centered on hospice-type care.

So I could apply my new technique to patients and to family members!

Sigh. I am going to hell.

Since there is little dating happening, here is the next posed question and a photo story from yesterday.

Happy Wife has been stress-internet-shopping way too much. Boxes started coming yesterday. I opened the first, then left the room for 2 seconds.

I get back into the kitchen and see immediately what has happened.

Mary Lou wasted no time before getting in the box.

Notice what is right outside of the box.

Yes, those are kitty beds.

Mary Lou: like a boss!

Mav could care less.

Someone's in a box?

Whatever.

I feel like crap.

Mary Lou vacates the box.

Almost instantaneously...

Isley gets into the box.

Mav is a little more interested in all the activity.

So, what did Happy Wife buy during clickety-clickety-preventing-my-ulcer-for-another-day online shopping?

A) A rug that she needed

B) Joan Rivers (LOVE YOU, JOAN!) jewelry that she did not need

C) A toaster that she sort of needed

D) A kitty tree, an always needed and welcome addition

E) Shoes that she did not need

F) A book (to go with the 10 already on the shelf, waiting to be read)

G) Summer dresses that she did not need

Did you guess all of the above? And then probably some kitty toys, too? Good job.

The rug is in the photo with Mav and Isley.

Sparkles! Crazy, crazy sparkles!

Sparkles times two!

Old lady jewelry, yes please.

The photos don't do them justice here.

The black liquid-y metal and

deep blue iridescent beads

on this second necklace are divine! 

Yes, I store my necklaces with tops/jackets all together in the closet

just like in the photo. I like how easy it is to grab a top

with a jacket and necklace already good to go.

*Points to head*

It's not all cobwebs and tumbleweeds up here.

Another kitty tree.

Now we have 2 of this design.

On sale, 30 bucks, free shipping from Petco.

Couldn't pass it up!

Shoe heaven.

Ask not what these shoes match...

Ask only what don't they match?

They match ALL THINGS! ALL THINGS!

Okay, okay.

Maybe not my Grover/Old Spice parody
tee shirt that I'm wearing today.

I still giggle at this shirt and I'm wearing it.

*Sticks tongue out at you*

Pandora says, "I've already heard that one, Rachel."

Lastly, all dolled up with nowhere to go.

The socially acceptable nightgown explosion!

Whoopee!

If you learn one thing from this post,

it should be that Happy Wife

has way too much time on her hands.

Here's hoping Mav feels better soon!

So the shopping can stop and the dating can commence!

Crap. The toaster, another cat tree, and some giant rugs
just showed up at the door.

I know you dig the wolf snowglobe from my folks
on the shelf just above my gram's little ceramic deer
in the background there.

Nature!
*Jazz hands*

The toaster matches our little pot perfectly! Bonus!

And the rugs act as a burglar barrier in the basement.
Or a husband barrier.
He's gonna have to come in the front door tonight.

Hey, look! I spy some Snapple!
When did I get that? Nice! Yum!

...

I think I'm going to go freeze my credit cards in blocks of ice now.

Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

You know what every husband enjoys? Elton John songs, an emotional storyline acted out in English by safari animals, and extravagant displays of puppetry.

Okay, okay. Maybe not.

Still, the hubby is taking me to see the Lion King. The musical, not the animated movie.

*Jazz Hands*

Wooooooooooo!

And I only have to wait 4 months to go.

Woooooooooo.

Woooo.

Sigh.

Wo.

On an unrelated note, I have informed the husband, using air quotes, that I no longer recognize his "deadlines" and that I'm gonna put the "dead" in his "deadlines" if he doesn't stop working so much. He made the mistake of admitting that the team members with children aren't putting in the kind of overtime hours that he has been putting in these past weeks. Months. Year.

I have therefore declared myself a "special needs" wife and I am thisclose to showing up at Boeing in a bathrobe and with my hair in curlers. Both things I will need to buy for this scenario. Because my hubby has family that needs him, too. I'm out of episodes of Damages and I'm forcing myself to watch The Voice. Sh*t is about to hit the fan. I'm a woman at the end of my rope!

Also, I am not above using permanent marker to draw inappropriate pictures on his face while he sleeps and then writing "Suck this, Deadline!" or something equally clever on his forehead.

One can only have so many days that go like this:

Pandora the cat: "Meow. Mew."

Me: "Mew, mew yourself, Pandora."

Pandora: "Mewp."

Me: "Mewp, mewp."

"Meeeeeeeeeew," says Pandora.

"MEEEEEEEEEEW", I say.

And so on.