The Hot Streak Continues

My hot streak is continuing... I have been carrying my new DSW purse for about 3 weeks. To the vet every other day. To Petco and Petsmart. Do do do dum dee do.

Weekends when the husband takes over dog duty for a few hours? To the grocery. To the dry cleaners. To the post office. Very proud.

It is a giant grey purse. I ordered it online (gasp, you say). When it came in the mail and I opened it, I was like, Hmmmmm. Wow. This is very large.

But I liked it so much I cut off the tag, emptied the gallons of tissue paper out of it, and hung it in a very visible spot in the closet.

I am not used to carrying a large bag, but once I decided to try it for a day, I loved it. It looks so awesome that I immediately felt comfortable with it.

I also subscribe to the notion that tiny women look great with tiny purses and maybe I, not being tiny, should have a more substantial purse. An adult lady purse. Not that my other purses aren't adult. It's just that not too long ago, I went neck deep into the cross body phenomenon, and that was unwise. Ladies with 36Ds should not wear the cross body purse. The twins have a wonderful life of their own and they do not need a big weighty ole tourniquet strap separating 'em. If I'm not going to look like I do crack (Happy Wife's ideal body type!), then enjoying the one bonus from not being rail thin is a necessary pleasure. Ta-da tatas!

Da da dada!

That was the trumpet "here comes the king and queen" solo in case that wasn't clear.

Anyway, I also wanted a bag that would let me take a book to the doctor's office and would allow me and the hubby to sneak in a couple boxes of candy at the movie theater. Stuff like that.

Last week I discovered something on the back of the purse.

Well, hell. Do you see it? 

An entire zippered compartment!

Hi there, Pocket!

Genius that I am, I still did not open zippered compartment until this morning. I mean, my excuse is that I am still getting used to the normal compartments. I do not have much stuff to put in said gigantic purse in the first place.

Today, I grabbed my purse because some more online stress shopping took hold. I admired it for a while.

Gee, I love this purse, I said to myself.

Then I unzipped the zippered compartment for the first time. Of course.

There was a little tissue paper in there.

* All tissue pictured is from the ONE

little zippered compartment in the back.

Hermes and Isley are incredulous.

Or they are just impressed by how much of a moron I can be.

Also, is it me, or does Isley look like

The Most Interesting Cat In The World

in this photo of him and the purse?

I don't always play with tissue paper,

but when I do, I make sure it's from a purse

that meets my level of style and sophistication. 

I wonder what other dumb things I am doing right now

(and when I will catch onto them).

Also, yes, I am aware that obviously,
from the quality of that there video,
I should dedicate my life to film.

*Juts out chin, holds nose in the air,
walks off to order a beret*

More Posing Questions - What Did Happy Wife Buy On The Internet This Week?

Mav the dog is still bringing it big time. Just when I think for a few sweet, beautiful hours that she's feeling better, she kicks it up a notch. Her new thing is to seize and massively throw up at the same time. Usually in bursts of 3 over a 15 minute period.

My response is about as awesome as her actual illness. I say-scream, "You're okay! I got you! Snap out of it! You're fine! Quit it! SNAP OUT OF IT!" all while vigorously holding her and petting her. Because what she needs is redirection! HA!

Fun thought: I am so glad that I am not working right now. What if my dog nursing skills crossed over into my people nursing skills?

In a crisis, I would just grab the patient and scream, "SNAP OUT OF IT! IT'S OKAY! QUIT! QUIT! I GOT YOU! YOU'RE FINE!"

I find this thought way too hilarious. Probably because it's so true. At this point, I'm so tired and stressed out that I could actually see myself doing this to a poor, unsuspecting sick person.

Double bonus fun thought: My nursing mostly centered on hospice-type care.

So I could apply my new technique to patients and to family members!

Sigh. I am going to hell.

Since there is little dating happening, here is the next posed question and a photo story from yesterday.

Happy Wife has been stress-internet-shopping way too much. Boxes started coming yesterday. I opened the first, then left the room for 2 seconds.

I get back into the kitchen and see immediately what has happened.

Mary Lou wasted no time before getting in the box.

Notice what is right outside of the box.

Yes, those are kitty beds.

Mary Lou: like a boss!

Mav could care less.

Someone's in a box?

Whatever.

I feel like crap.

Mary Lou vacates the box.

Almost instantaneously...

Isley gets into the box.

Mav is a little more interested in all the activity.

So, what did Happy Wife buy during clickety-clickety-preventing-my-ulcer-for-another-day online shopping?

A) A rug that she needed

B) Joan Rivers (LOVE YOU, JOAN!) jewelry that she did not need

C) A toaster that she sort of needed

D) A kitty tree, an always needed and welcome addition

E) Shoes that she did not need

F) A book (to go with the 10 already on the shelf, waiting to be read)

G) Summer dresses that she did not need

Did you guess all of the above? And then probably some kitty toys, too? Good job.

The rug is in the photo with Mav and Isley.

Sparkles! Crazy, crazy sparkles!

Sparkles times two!

Old lady jewelry, yes please.

The photos don't do them justice here.

The black liquid-y metal and

deep blue iridescent beads

on this second necklace are divine! 

Yes, I store my necklaces with tops/jackets all together in the closet

just like in the photo. I like how easy it is to grab a top

with a jacket and necklace already good to go.

*Points to head*

It's not all cobwebs and tumbleweeds up here.

Another kitty tree.

Now we have 2 of this design.

On sale, 30 bucks, free shipping from Petco.

Couldn't pass it up!

Shoe heaven.

Ask not what these shoes match...

Ask only what don't they match?

They match ALL THINGS! ALL THINGS!

Okay, okay.

Maybe not my Grover/Old Spice parody
tee shirt that I'm wearing today.

I still giggle at this shirt and I'm wearing it.

*Sticks tongue out at you*

Pandora says, "I've already heard that one, Rachel."

Lastly, all dolled up with nowhere to go.

The socially acceptable nightgown explosion!

Whoopee!

If you learn one thing from this post,

it should be that Happy Wife

has way too much time on her hands.

Here's hoping Mav feels better soon!

So the shopping can stop and the dating can commence!

Crap. The toaster, another cat tree, and some giant rugs
just showed up at the door.

I know you dig the wolf snowglobe from my folks
on the shelf just above my gram's little ceramic deer
in the background there.

Nature!
*Jazz hands*

The toaster matches our little pot perfectly! Bonus!

And the rugs act as a burglar barrier in the basement.
Or a husband barrier.
He's gonna have to come in the front door tonight.

Hey, look! I spy some Snapple!
When did I get that? Nice! Yum!

...

I think I'm going to go freeze my credit cards in blocks of ice now.