4th of July

Once, when we were dating, we bought fireworks in northern Indiana (where I still was living) and set them off in the backyard. Our house was in a fairly rural area. Of course, our yard was lined on 3 sides with roads, one of them being the very high traffic and well patroled Indiana Toll Road.

Don't even get me started on the 4th side of the yard. We've been neighbors with the Newmans since before I was born. And no matter how great Ryan races in "The Nascar" as we call it, his parents still live close enough to me (now my folks) that I am embarrassed on a regular basis. Happy Wife has been embarrassing herself in front of the neighbors since she was Happy Baby (followed by Precocious Child, Misunderstood Teenager, Artsy College Student, and Fledgling Non Profit Employee).

Lost the bottom half of my swimsuit at the other side of their swimming pool during the first year of my teenager-dom? Check. Set off the fire alarms while cooking as a young adult, sending them running over to save myself and my grandmother from what they assume is a deadly fire? Check. I'll stop now since the checklist is never ending.

Oh, did I mention we're about 5 miles from the Michigan border? That would be where the fireworks are legal.

We lit about 5 things that 4th of July (3 of them sparklers, I think) and then were so sure we'd be hauled to jail that we just went back inside the house. We probably watched a movie and went to bed.

Now you know all of the awesome, awesome things we've done over the Independence Day holiday since we've been together.

We are going to start rectifying that this year. Something we never would have done possibly ever if we were not "dating" again.

I remember being a little girl and going with my parents and little brother to see the fireworks displays at night. There was always a blanket on the ground for us and some lawn chairs in a park, or on a lawn, or even on a football field. I really loved that experienec and felt like it was magical. I know we did it throughout my childhood.

There are lots of options in regards to fireworks displays around town. There are also fairs, concerts, and air shows. Thanks to a date early in our relationship at Six Flags, we won't be seeking out any festival for its rides (the horrors of that day live in infamy! I do not know why he continued dating me after that). Even Toad The Wet Sprocket is playing a show at 3 pm some afternoon at a random festival. What is there not to do is the better question. The hubby is even taking Friday off so we can have a 4 day weekend!

July is going to go off with a bang! This may be the biggest month for us in our plans. Mostly because it's my birthday month and there's already been a lot of "For my birthday, let's do X!" and it's not even July yet.

Wait until you hear about what we're doing on my actual birthday. I am WAY too excited. We're going to have to listen to NPR the whole drive downtown so that I don't explode (NPR makes me so sleepy... so very sleepy). Or we could watch something on National Geographic Channel like Man Made or Ultimate Factories. That ought to help quell the sprinkle of crazy and bring me down a couple notches. I can actually feel my heart rate slow whenever those shows are on the screen. I fear I am going to show up like I've had a pot of crack coffee and possibly upset the things I love so much. I wonder if anyone's ever been killed by... No. No. I don't think so. I mean, right? They're way smaller than most people. But we're also going to be outnumbered.

I definitely need to KEEP MY COOL. Heh, heh, heh. You'll see why that's so funny later.

80 and Lovin' It (The Brunch Date)

Today, the husband took me to the Cheesecake Factory for brunch. We rarely go out and sit down at a restaurant for a meal. I don't think drive through windows or Sonic count, right? It was so nice to be out together.

After we ate, we walked through Borders. Did you know they make the Clue boardgame set in The Office at Dunder Mifflin now? Who killed Toby? With what? I bet it was Michael. We're so going to have to get that game someday.

Anyway, we took a scenic drive home through a lovely area. Everything's so green and all the landscape so well manicured. There were a lot of those big, beautiful houses that I could not live in. I have 2 issues with those houses. 1) I could never live in a house that would be too big for me to clean. I get that they can afford help, but I just couldn't do it. With my obsession with cleaning, I can't even imagine. I would probably clean as prep to someone coming to clean. And 2) I know it's related to the first reason, but there are just so many windows. How do you clean that many windows? Some of those houses seem to have an entire side of the house that is all glass. Stories and stories of glass. Wow. One bug, one fleck of mud, one streak, and I'd be out there on a ladder losing my mind.

A good reminder that our house, for all it's quirks, is wonderful for us. It's older and with that comes a lot of problems, but it fits us. I think we like it because it's not new.

Where did this sentimental streak come from? What are we? 80 years old? Brunch and a Sunday drive. I guess it's even more important than I originally thought for us to continue trying new things that are out of our comfort zones. At least we still have all our own teeth! Hopefully we still have a lot of time!

As much as I look forward to growing old with my husband, I think I already lean towards an older lifestyle. We are this close to putting 2 lawn chairs in the driveway in order to spend our evenings and weekends just watching the neighborhood.

While trying to think of more dates to plan at home, I came up with working on a puzzle together. Seriously. I think it would be fun. The hubby reminded me that with all our kitties, a thousand piece puzzle on the kitchen table wouldn't stand much of a chance. Too true. I cannot imagine all the places the pieces would be found for months to come after one afternoon of puzzle-time.

Speaking of that, I know I already have enough kitties to be a crazy old cat lady. Our pets are our kids, though. I mean, two of the cats have their own cardiologist. I guess we're kind of nuts. Senile even. Touched with dementia? Perhaps. During many of the World Cup games, I asked my husband the same questions over and over. I had not only completely forgotten all of his answers but that I even asked all those questions already. If I was confused about it yesterday, guess what? I'm going to be confused about it again this morning.

When the World Cup comes around again, my husband will hear all those questions again. He'll have to deal with my lack of geography skills once more. All those countries I swore didn't exist because I'd never heard of them will still be figments of my husband's imagination to me. I will, again, have never heard of them. He's such a good and patient husband. He continues to tell me the same things over and over. Maybe we really are like a little old married couple already.

I wouldn't want it any other way.

Wicked Date

We figured out earlier in the season that the Fox is full of patrons who dress very casually. Therefore, the husband is allowed to wear jeans. I think this made the whole experience go down a lot easier for him. We took this quick pick before heading downtown. I did not know at the time that someone's face was being blinded by the sun. He does suffer a lot for me, no?

The group walking there had parked by us and I asked the hubby in the car, "Do you think in 20 years, I'll allow you to wear that outfit to the theater?" That mas was wearing acid washed jeans, a red baseball hat, and a shirt with a very large print of motorcycles on it. A lot of look, St. Louis. A lot of look.

Half the fun of going to the theater for my husband is getting to see my reaction to everyone's clothing choices. When we turned the corner last night before we parked, it took everything I am to not take a picture of one of the patrons. My husband kind of coughed but I already had taken it in. I said, "Hey, you're about to get a pre-show, Honey!" This "girl" was wearing a very, very, very short printed cotton dress (rose and skull type of graphic print). It was a miracle that we did not get to see her entire butt. With the breeze, and the flimsy flippy dress material. A miracle. From God. The dress was bad all on its own. She also was wearing old school high top sneakers in a completely different rose and skull graphic print. At least she wasn't wearing socks? And either her face was lying but she had to have been my age, at least.

A lot of times, I see skinny pretty people out in the world, and I think, "That's cute, what they're wearing. No one else could pull that off, of course, but it's cute on them" but this was not one of those times. Granted, I cannot pull off much, and my ability to dress well and primp is severely lacking, but come on! Walmarts version of Ed Hardy times TWO? I am embarrassed on behalf of my gender, my city, and my age group.

We were there to see a real show, though. Because it is summer, Wicked started before the sun set. Everything outside and inside the theater is still all lit up, though! Special note: we've been waiting for the diner next door to open for YEARS. We had never seen it open and there had always been a sign on it that said, "Open Soon". It was a running joke. It's been empty and abandoned. No sign of life at all. If we had known it would actually be open before our showing of Wicked, maybe we could have had dinner and a show! Oh well. That's how our luck goes. We were just there last month and saw Young Frankenstein (ridiculously hilarious). That diner was still all tumbleweeds and wind sounds. I cannot believe that place is finally open. 20 bucks says that the next time we're downtown (whether it's tomorrow or a year from now), the place is closed again. This was definitely our four leaf clover moment.

Although I obviously had a camera, there is a no photos rule inside the Fox. I get why you can't take pictures of the actual show, but I don't know why you can't take pictures of the theater. It is stunning. Words cannot really describe it. I managed to refrain from taking any pictures since the ushers seemed to be fighting a losing battle with about 100 other people.

I purposefully did not listen to the soundtrack beforehand, but I did read the book. The show was a lot different than the book, which I think was great. The cast and music were superb, as were the special effects. We thought it was a really good show. Someone did a lot of crying throughout (let's pretend it was the hubby). It's a very emotional story. Standing ovations started before the cast came out for their bows.

There were 4 displays of merchandise before the show. Again, my cheap gene came into play. I could not pay 65 bucks for a hoodie, no matter how cute. And we hadn't seen the show yet. What if Taylor Hicks shows up and makes me hate Wicked? We did splurge on a program. I cannot believe how much we paid for it, but I'm glad we got it. I asked the hubby on the drive home which of our pets was the most wicked and he immediately answered, "Pandora". That may seem unimpressive, but when you have a house of 9 rescued kitties and one old lady of a dog, immediately singling someone out of the group is rare.

I propped up the program and Pandora immediately went to Glenda's side (that would be the good witch). Is it possible Pandora had us all fooled? Is she the good one? What exactly is it that makes us wicked (or not)? Thought provoking. A good date all in all. Now I just have to figure out if, as wife who loves her husband very much, it is better to watch the World Cup with the husband or whether it is kinder to retreat somewhere else and let him enjoy it on his own.

Bad Wife, Bad!

Bad Wife, Bad!

I think I just ate an entire Pepperidge Farm package of Snickerdoodles in a 24 hour period. It’s what Ralph wanted! For the record, Ralph is not my husband.

It’s been one of those weeks. I blame the crowd at the City Museum (and my faulty immune system) for a stomach bug that has encouraged me to be a bad wife. I call him Ralph. He has kept me company while I did things that I know were stupid and bad for my marriage.

It started with about 3 days of ginger ale, saltines, and watching television in the fetal position. I watched a lot of Animal Cops on Animal Planet. I see one damn abused, starved, and diseased animal on there and then I’m hooked on yet another episode before I can change the channel. I have to watch to see the animal’s recovery and placement in a loving home. Regardless of whether that happens (sometimes it doesn’t), I end up with some emotionally debilitating mental disease for the rest of the day. The heartwarming aspects of those shows are nothing compared to the psychotic break I have watching them. You can therefore imagine how much fun I am to be around after an afternoon of sobbing so hard that I cannot breathe out of my nose. Not only am I moody, I’m a mouth breather. It’s comparable to someone snoring while awake. Loudly, loudly snoring.

It is no wonder my husband has retreated to his online computer game this week. He’s also been lucky enough to play a lot of softball. I say lucky because a heat index of 110 doesn’t hang around at home all day feeling crappy and then lay in wait for you to come through the door. Softball also allows him to stay out late in a guy zone. I get that. I mean, I don’t get the whole spit and scratch yourself aspects, but I get that he needs to have guy time (or wife-less time).

Ralph also happened to be soothed by QVC. Not good. I now have stuff coming that is supposed to make my hair magically thicker and all my bumpy parts less bumpy. The only battle I won against Ralph was not ordering myself a birthday cake. I cannot pay 30 bucks for a cake. For a couple clearance poinsettia garlands, sure. But not a cake. I mean, come on. 12 bucks for shipping and handling? Do you know how many boxes of Betty Crocker mixes I could get with that? And I always have coupons for box mixes, so just double that original number. I could bake so much cake that I could crumble it, throw it in the tub, and bathe in it.

Now that's a birthday! It's almost sexy until you remember it's cake. You know, the cause of all my bumpy parts.

Plus, I stand by the festive purchases. Those garlands were made for me because those flowers in those colors are a main theme in my living room in December – they were meant to be mine! MEANT TO BE MINE!

I guess I did also refrain from buying a “bubble tree” (but not by much). I have wanted a bubble tree ever since I first saw them a couple years ago. It’s a Christmas tree with a big old clear, water-filled tube as the trunk. Turn it on and there’s a bunch of bubbles and a light show that go on in that tube. The tree comes in a host of crazy colors. If we ever win the lotto, I am having me some bubble trees. Ralph may be sneaky, but he can’t quite trick the cheap out of me. Bubble trees, not the least expensive things in the world.

This week I said things like “I was productive today because I ran the dishwasher” and “For supper, I made you this turkey sandwich”. I also had a mini-breakdown because I was supposed to get the first season 2 disc of True Blood from Netflix. I was sure our mail person, who cannot figure out that 1231 is different than 1321, gave my disc to someone else. That meant, to me, that I would be getting discs 2 and 3 and never see disc 1… How would I know what was happening? I CANNOT watch episodes out of order. That is a sickness unrelated to Ralph. I lost my mind. I ended up getting all 3 discs the next day but the buildup was something to behold.

So in the end, the hubby and I were very content to do our own thing this week. I don’t know what is worse – my addiction to shopping or my rollercoaster ride of heinousness. The scales kind of even out there, I think. Hopefully, with all the guilt piled on me from Oprah’s debt diet (well timed, Ms. Winfrey, well timed) and with the fresh memory of how destructive reality pet-related television is to my soul, we can go into the weekend spending time together and finding a way to get back some of the things that Ralph has taken from me. Like laughter, an ability to say no to Today’s Special Value, and an accurate perception of time (it is summer so stop it with the Christmas already). Beep. Beep. Beep. That’s the sound of my truck backing out of Crazytown.

Or the sound of the Ups Man bringing me my packages. Either way, I’m cooking supper tonight, wearing a different outfit than yesterday, and the curtains in the house are all open. Bad wife is at the very least back to being a happy wife.

The Fox Theater

Our next date has been planned for months. Wicked is here! We had season tickets to the Fox Theater in St. Louis this year, and this is the last show in the series. We were able to score them pretty cheaply when they ran a special last fall.


This pic is from the night we saw Avenue Q. Basically, I really, really wanted to see that show. I had tickets for it when it started on Broadway. There was a planned trip to New York City to see my old college roommates and at the last minute, I had a nursing school scheduling conflict for a pre-nursing school conference. I canceled my trip. The nursing school required event ended up being a 20 minute meeting about nothing, my old roomies had a great time, and I was left Avenue Q-less. It was worth the pain of missing the trip and waiting all these years to see it. Sharing the experience with my husband was priceless. 4 words: The Bad Idea Bears.

Here is a picture of Hermes (our kitty) and Trekkie Monster. Hermes is very interested in what Trekkie Monster says the internet is for! Bad Hermes! Avenue Q! Listen to the soundtrack! RIP Gary Coleman. Who is a character in Avenue Q. You thought it was all puppets? Nope. It's all awesome is what it is.

The other 5 shows we’ve seen this year have had their highs and lows. Unfortunately, there were a lot of lows. This made introducing my husband to musical theater a little dramatic. It would have been difficult no matter what since my husband is a manly man (no “men in tights” number here, folks) and has not been to many (read: any) plays or musicals. Thankfully we stuck the season out and the past couple shows have been great! And my husband doesn’t hate the theater. He doesn’t love it, but he definitely doesn’t hate it.

Can I just mention that I now have a deep distaste for Taylor Hicks? I didn't care or not care for him before he came to town for the musical Grease. He ruined what was one of my favorite musicals of all time and should be ashamed of himself. My husband will never appreciate Grease because of that man. Even I will have a hard time reclaiming my fuzzy Olivia Newtown John – John Travolta feelings. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Exploring St. Louis with my husband has already been really fun. I look forward to finding lots of other things to do around town. We live in a great place and it feels wonderful to finally start seeing some of it. At the same time, when I started thinking about spending more time with my hubby, I wanted to incorporate a lot of different types of dates. Since this weekend’s date is kind of a cheat (since it was already planned and something we’re familiar with), I’m also going to plan a separate, unrelated date at home. Something simple, cheap (dates at home are often free and it doesn’t get cheaper than that!), and fun. I was thinking a game night for just the two of us. I make a mean caramel popcorn and we have a pile of board games (some of which we’ve never played). I think it’s a date!

The Aquarium Date!

Here is my husband sharing a moment with one of the many fish on display at the aquarium inside the City Museum.



I definitely question whether the person who built the aquarium had ever been to an aquarium before. What was not up for debate was whether I would like to hang out with said person (answer: yes).

This is me PETTING A STING RAY. I love being encouraged to do something scary with no supervision. Aren't these the things that killed the crocodile hunter? Did you know they feel like velveteen rabbits? Lethal velveteen rabbits.



You totally think that is the thing I mentioned in the last post. The thing that I got to do that was both one of the scariest and most fun things I have ever done. Not even close. But moving on...

Speaking of rabbits, I should mention the aquarium also had bunnies. I don't think you could beat the strange bipolar selection of animals displayed here. Other than fish and water-related creatures (of which there were plenty), there were anteaters, sloths, and ferrets. Oh, and a parrot at every turn. Of course. I must be the only one who doesn't naturally go from various species of alligator and crocodile to the most beautiful sea turtles ever to tanks full of gorgeous marked saltwater fish to random perching parrots.

I do love animals and being able to pet them makes me a giddy little girl again, so I am not knocking all the interactive exhibits here. You can pet turtles, snakes, FISH (yes, we pet certain fish while they were in the water, the same way you would pet a cat down the back), and even giant crabs.

Ha ha I touched crabs! Ah, STD humor.

Only I didn't. They looked more lethal than the sting rays and were the size of dinner plates. They were also very, very active. I let the crabs win this one.

Heh heh. That sounds funny.

Sorry. Back to the educational aquarium. There was a tank full of small black fish. You put your hand in and they swim over as fast as they can. Then they latch onto your hands and fingers and "nibble". It was the weirdest feeling. Here is a good pic of the hubby doing this. All those black things are FISH. It was really fun!



We walked all around and saw a lot of interesting things. By far, the most exciting thing was the shark tank. It had giant sea turtles and sharks (which I assume you smart whippersnappers probably guessed by the fact that it's called a "shark tank").



The picture above is a view out over the tank from behind and up high. The picture below is (drum roll) of me IN THE TUNNEL THAT GOES THROUGH THE INSIDE OF THE SHARK TANK.



I was terrified to go in and didn't think I could do it. The picture doesn't do it justice in terms of how small it was. We walked back down the way we'd come and I just lost my mind for a second and said, "We're going back. I'm going through the tunnel." I crawled in a couple feet, and I think you can tell from the picture, I was really, really excited. The sharks swim around you and you just take your time crawling down through the tunnel. AWESOME. One of the best things I have ever done and unlike anything I've experienced before.

Granted they weren't Jaws-level sharks... They weren't much bigger than me. But you have to give me this one anyway, right? CLEAR PLASTIC SHARK TUNNEL. (I drop my microphone and walk offstage because I WIN and everyone's been served!) YEAH!

The City Museum Date

Well, we made it to the City Museum. The heat index made it feel like it was over 100 degrees out today, so we did not pick a good day to explore. A lot of the cool stuff was outside. Including the giant ball pit. Mehr.

See the crazy bus on the roof and the planes sticking out of the building? There are all these walkways and tunnels and you can go out and climb all over that stuff. It's insanity!



I have to say that all the places you can crawl through or climb on or whatever are less than ideal for those who are claustrophobic or chubby. I saw some people above us in a tunnel and I had an image of myself getting stuck around my middle in the hole used to climb through from one part to another. Call the fire station! Get me some Lasix, stat! So I did not climb on very much.

The actual museum had 2 floors of different museum-type attractions... There was a midget and a tiny train. Not kidding. People were taking a lot of pictures of the midget and it kind of made me uncomfortable. I did not, for the record, take a picture of him and was not tempted to in any way. There was also a circus act where a guy was juggling sticks that were on fire. Need I forget about the expansive taxidermy bug exhibit and the really expansive Sullivan architectural exhibit (think giant cement/plaster tiles with lots of intricate patterns that would be on old buildings). Pretty tiles. Rooms and rooms of pretty, pretty tiles.

Another attraction was a doorknob exhibit. Nothing says dating fun like doorknobs? I needed us to get a picture there. For some reason no one else was in the doorknob room. It felt like the only place where we had any space to ourselves. It would have been more romantic, if, you know, it wasn't a room full of doorknobs.



Maybe it was totally romantic... Each knob opens a door to another room of our loves (you have to say "loves" all adorably there). Heh heh. I will have to tell my husband that. He will laugh. He always does, no matter how stupid my remark.

How about we were together in a room full of doorknobs because we've already knocked down all the doors and walls separating ourselves from our loves?

No, well what about this old standby then?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Our loves!

I'll stop now.

I have to console myself somehow since the vintage clothing store was closed. The outrage!

There were also so many people there (a lot of them children) that we couldn't even walk and hold hands half the time. I had to walk behind him and hold onto the back of his tee shirt so I wouldn't lose him in the crowd. Yeah. Not my ideal situation.

There seemed to be lots of nice and cool places to sit. Cool not as in temperature because it was hot in there. Maybe because we were packed like sardines from one floor to the next. There were a lot of sculptural animals that you could sit on but of course all the seats were taken.

There was also nudity. So that's fun. A woman was breastfeeding and it literally was just like turn and bam! Boob. I think I actually made some sort of surprised noise (perhaps just "Ahhh!). I wasn't expecting it. Not that there is anything wrong with public breast feeding. I am just not used to it. I am a very liberal person in general (let's marry all the gays and save the penguins!) but there are some very straight-laced Midwestern roots in my blood, too. I guess a woman with her shirt 3/4 of the way off of her body in one of the most crowded places I've been upsets my apple cart. Heh heh. Apple carts. Nice reference there, Self! Very down home, if I do say so myself. Which I just did.

Well, although the museum itself was a little much for me (I think I said 4 words the whole way home and just rode in the car with my eyes shut), we spent most of our time in the aquarium. It was really a fun date. At the aquarium. So I think we will just go ahead and consider the aquarium our date (the 2nd floor of the museum is the aquarium and is its own thing - and you have to pay separately to go in, which I think helped make the crowd thin a little bit in there). I'll write more and share pictures tomorrow. It was so different than I had ever seen. I love the Shedd in Chicago and this was no Shedd. It is like comparing apples (there the apples are again!) to... Boobs. Yep. Apples to boobs.

And who doesn't love apples and boobs in their own individual and respectful ways? Am I right?

The aquarium has one of the scariest things I have ever done. And one of the most memorable and fun! SO FUN. So make sure you see the picture of it in the next post.

He's Onto Me (Not Like That Sicko)

So the hubby is onto me about the vintage clothing store at the location of our date this weekend. He is handling it well.

It is supposed to be in the mid to high 90s Saturday and Sunday but it will only feel like +100 degrees. Phew. So only the outer 3 layers of my skin will melt. Have a good day, Dads! (Father's Day is Sunday)

We officially are now planning to do indoor things at the City Museum. No roof time for sure now. Apparently there are things like airplanes and more tunnels and more disassembled architecture on the roof to climb on and through and over. I do not want to be hospitalized for getting burns from metal sculptural pieces in downtown St. Louis. Although I guess if I was hospitalized, it's a pretty cool story to have (vs how I would usually burn myself ala cooking or attempting to use lawn equipment).

My husband and I did have an pseudo argument about whether he was allowed to wear shorts. He went all enunciating on the "it's recommended not required" line but since I am going to adhere to the dress code, he gave in fairly easily. For someone who doesn't care about what he wears, he sure was insistent that he could wear shorts. Does he think we'll be doing so much that he's going to get too warm in jeans? Has he forgotten that he has to stay with me there? I will not be doing anything that will make me need to don a sweatband (oh, sexy image there). Now that we're definitely staying inside during our visit, I have a feeling the subject is going to come up again.

This must be a date in an alternate universe since it is NOT me who is having issues with what to wear.

I will follow all the apparel rules because I do not want to know how they came to make these suggestions. Open heeled shoes lead to BURNING YOUR HEELS OFF. Capris mean SHIN SCARS. Shorts get caught on angled dagger-y metal pieces and BAM! Your kneecaps busted, my friends. Nah uh. There is an entire, vaguely terrifying and slightly hilarious letter on the website about frivolous lawsuits. Not because the place isn't dangerous but because it is so dangerous that people who don't even visit there bring up civil suits to try to get payments for injuries. Oh yeah. Fall off your roof, get run over by a car, and then hit by lightening? Just say you went to the City Museum and sue 'em.

Oh hell yes the hubby is wearing jeans. I am going to go through this place with the speed of an elderly person on the first day of hip replacement rehab. I will be leaning on my husband's arm AND acting like I have a walker. Ah, the memories of working in long term care. I do have experience and have observed the most careful and determined walkers. Finally, my nursing doin' me a solid. Makin' me ready for the dating world again!

Fishes

Well, my husband comes to the rescue again. He already has an idea for our second date. Even before we were married and back when I visited St. Louis (from 400 miles away), he wanted to take me to the City Museum. We never quite made it there. Now I've lived here 4 years and still haven't been.

Our date location is therefore planned. The City Museum has always seemed large and chaotic to me, and with its emphasis on being physical (think when you were a kid on a playground, exploring tunnels, and climbing architecture) and the way it seems to draw in children, I was always able to find a reason not to go.

Glancing at the website, I am just as overwhelmed by all its different attractions. I do remember my husband saying it is best to just focus on one or two since you can't do it all in one visit. I didn't know there was an aquarium there! I love aquariums!

There is also a giant ball pit. For adults. Think a fast food restaurant's playland on crack.

The site (www.citymuseum.org) also says that one should wear tennis shoes and long pants. No sandals or shorts (another reason why I was always able to figure out a place I would rather go to over the City Museum - what exactly am I doing that is too much for shorts and open toed shoes?).

And there is now a giant, cheap ($1!!!) vintage clothing store inside the museum. Yes, please. Let's let the hubby find out about that when I drag him inside for a couple minutes... Yeah. *Rubs hands together in gleeful planning.

This should be interesting! I'm scared! But with the promise of fishes and vintage tops, I will conquer my fears! Oh, and for love! Oh yeah, also for love!

Dater's Block

With one successful date under my belt, I am already experiencing dater's block. And an extreme desire to quit while we're ahead. When we got done with mini golf this weekend, the other vehicle in the parking lot was obviously a sign.



Despite my aversion to Bradley Cooper and Jessica Biel (oh how my fingers burn typing her name!), my love of everything else A-Team is powerful enough to make me want to see that movie. We immediately said we were meant to reward ourselves with our good old habitual date. It is so easy to just revert back to what is known to us.

I need to think of options... With the thunderstorms making us move up our mini golf time, we managed to beat the weather and still have a great date. I'm sure in St. Louis we may win the game, but we won't win the series (boo-ya! a baseball reference AND a Biel rant in one post!). When I moved here, I thought that the weather would be milder than northern Indiana and northern Minnesota. It's not. We may not have 6 feet of snow in the winters, but other than that, we have all the ice, thunderstorms, freezing cold, and hellfire level heat that any bipolar girl could ever want.

That means I have to think of back up plans and alternate locations for our dates.

Other than at our favorite theater.

Today my head is so wrapped around making a grocery list, remembering to remember Father's Day, and figuring out how I can get on the roof to clean the gutters (if my husband can do it, damn it, so can I... if only I didn't feel like I might pass out on the second rung of the ladder). I have to remind myself to focus on us and make time together a priority. In a fun way. Something out of our comfort zone and within our budget.

I have a couple days to think. Guess it turns out I need them!

Mini Golf Date

We're not smokers, but the naked cherub/angel pedestals for ashes definitely increased the ambiance of our mini golf date.

I had been nervous about how crowded the place would be. A June Saturday in St. Louis. When we first saw the beautiful mini golf course, we definitely noticed the 2 other people playing on it (who were gone by the time we were halfway through, so we had the whole place to ourselves). Not one kid in sight. Score!



The course was... Unique. Every turn, a new out of place statue, Every step, a new kind of bug dive-bombing us. Lovely putrid water features and the sun burning between my toes where I guess the SPF 60 spray didn't reach. You had to watch your step for cracks in the concrete and tilt your head 4 different ways before figuring out half the stuff in front of you. Lots of beautiful flowers and plants in hanging baskets and along the walkway. Then, a random plant in a giant, splintered feed-store type of white plastic bucket mixed into the decorating scene. Seamless-ish.

The main feature was a large wolf-dog statue.



Don't forget the fake deer resting in the grass. It had some kind of major head injury. Golf ball inflicted? I would have liked to witness that. Seems like it would have taken a lot of effort and perhaps some type of explosion.



For those who like their sports action live, there were dragon flies, normal flies, bees, and about 20 other species of bugs gettin' it on. Which I think led to what would only naturally come into mini-golf conversations - the "that's what she said" lines that made us laugh so hard we had to pat ourselves on the backs and repeat each one several more times. Heh heh. Heh.

IT WAS AWESOME. Just because something isn't new and sparkly doesn't mean it isn't really fun and interesting. This place had CHARACTER. And the moment we started attempting to get the ball into the hole, we relaxed into 2 people who just really, really like being around each other. I forgot about all the stuff I have on my to-do list. Forgot that I was wearing the ugliest shoes I own (Fitflops I heart you). Forgot to worry about our dog and kitties at home alone.

Turns out the worse you are at putting, the more entertaining mini golf is! Which means for us (me especially!) it was really interesting! My husband was tasked with keeping score.

I did have a hole in one, thank you very much.

I also had like a 27 at one of the holes if one was keeping accurate scoring. We started the rule early that if you keep hitting the ball and it doesn't go into the hole but you somehow manage to hit it back to where it started from, or worse, out into the landscape, then that was all "practice" and then you get to start over again.

When he got home, he looked at the score card again and proudly said, "We tied."

"Umm, no we didn't." I had to laugh.

"Yeah. We both had 10 over par." That sounds very golf-y to me, so sure.



What a day date. This was fun, cheap, and even though it was nasty hot (and not in a sexy way), we were so amused by ourselves and the place that we didn't really notice. We're definitely going to go back again. I also said that it didn't really match the mental image I had of mini golf so we also will have to try somewhere less, um, rustic, in the future. I was disappointed that there wasn't a windmill. At the same time, I didn't know I'd need tube features on a hole so hidden that we didn't even notice them until we were almost done with the hole ("Hey, this would have been so much easier if we'd hit it through that tube there!"). I cannot believe how much fun I had. I am already excited about our next date, whatever it may be!

Appropriate Footwear

Our mini golf date is coming too fast! I'm not ready!

There are a lot of things I used to do to get ready to go on a date with the man I eventually married. I very meticulously picked out my clothing beforehand. Sometimes I did this a week or two beforehand. He rarely saw me without make up for the first 2 years that I knew him. I had a hair dresser in Indiana who was the first (and so far only) hairdresser who was able to make my hair pretty for longer than the day I got my hair done. I kept Bath and Body Works in business by making sure that I had matching shower gels, lotions, and mists. I never wore the same thing twice, had my lashes curled and lips glossed, and smelled like a garden.

Cut to the present day. I never wear make up (big bonus points for a husband who whenever I lament about this comments, "You're so much prettier without it!"). I live in a handful of my favorite sweats and tee shirts. And my hair has been waging an ugly, ugly war against me since 2006.

The only thing that I still shop for and wear with the same frequency and style that I did as a girlfriend and not a wife is shoes.

I own a lot of really adorable shoes. Really, really adorable. There is little a high more enjoyable than a shoe shopping high. Some people have a favorite season of the year. Mine is fall and a lot of that is because it is BOOT season. Ah, boots...

Sorry, I drifted away there. Anyway, none of my current shoe options (read: summer shoes) are contenders for the comfortable awards. Some are difficult to walk in and are worn when I get to say, "Park close!" to wherever we are going. My husband cannot wrap his head around uncomfortable shoes. Not only does the man not try on clothing, he doesn't even try on shoes when he shops. Granted, he shops about every 5 years, but still. How do you even? I can't figure? I don't know how he does it but he does.

He is adamant that he finds me just as attractive without the shoes I love but I just can't turn away from them. This year, it was any sandal with plaid. And my favorite pair from last year was about as much of a non-understatement as you can make. I felt like I was in the movie 300 and that I was awesome in it with those (picture above). I was also my goal height. Which is however tall I am in those shoes.

I know there is no way that I can maneuver a mini golf course in those puppies.

Plus, we're going to need sunscreen. And insect repellent. And I have to wear a hat because I am so fair skinned and thin haired that my scalp will burn through my hair. Attractive, right?

This is also a fairly athletic date. My husband is very athletic. I, on the other hand, sometimes have trouble with things that require any physical abilities.

Yesterday I moved the kitchen table so that I could scrub the tile floor. After a routine 15 minutes, I got up to get more water, as I had probably 10 times already. I managed to stand up underneath the large light fixture that hangs over the table when I have not moved it out of the way. It probably comes up to my chest, to give you a height idea. And it has like 10 large light bulbs on it so it is not a diminutive fixture. I rose up into it like it was going to be a halo around my head. Which is fitting if you think about it since I did nearly kill myself. I did it so fast and forcefully I almost knocked myself unconscious and caused it to swing back down and nearly pull itself out of the ceiling (since I'd raised it into the air with my head, then immediately fell to the floor, not giving it time to come back down without some serious help from speedy, speedy gravity).

I wonder how badly one can hurt oneself in mini golf. I think I am about to find out. This is going to be fun. A fun date. Fun. What was I thinking?

Expand Our Thinking

My husband got excited when I told him that we were dating again. He's a pretty easy going guy and takes just about anything in stride.

He had a big smile on his face and asked, "Who gets to plan the dates? Do I get to plan the dates?"

I had to muster everything I had in order to not just put the work on his shoulders right then. Oh, how he opened a door he didn't even know about! How great would it be if I didn't have to really think about the actual dates? The man did plan our elopement, from the plane to the hotel to the wedding itself. It was awesome.

Then I remembered that he is also the man who bought me a tennis racket. 4 years ago. That I said was pretty. That is the extent of my relationship with it.

He also suggests on a weekly basis that I play Battlefield Soldiers or War Duty Calls or whatever it's called on the computer with him. It is a video game where he yells a lot of obscenities I have never heard him say before thereby scaring the crap out of the dog, encourages others to "protect the factory!", and continually is trying to find a flag or something somewhere. The cats sometimes help him and it drives him nuts. Atlas is demonstrating this in the pic above. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for him for me to play. I can barely bowl on a wii.

I quickly recovered and told him, "We can both think of dates!"

He obviously wanted to go first. I am the one that started this. So I prepared myself and said, "What would you like to do this weekend?"

"We could go to a movie!"

My mouth flattened into a thin line and I gave him the look. It's the one that lets him know I'm completely at a loss and he's about to hear why.

I got up, walked over to him, took the fabric of his shirt's collar in my hands and gently shook him in what can be described as emphatically and slow motion-y. I yelled, "The whole point of this is to do things we don't normally do! We cannot keep going to the movies or staying in and watching a movie EVERY WEEKEND! OH MY GOD! After we go on a date, we can reward ourselves by going to a movie! AHHHHHH!"

He shook his head in understanding and started scratching the facial hair at the bottom of his chin. That is his deep thinking pose.

Then he said, "How about mini-golf?"

We have never been mini-golfing.

And the gauntlet is thrown down! Mini-golf it is.

An Introduction

I was never the little girl who thought about her wedding one day. I never dreamed of white dresses or violins. It just wasn't something I thought would happen, even as a kid.

This ended up being a very good thing. I knew I wanted to marry my husband the day I met him. It took him a little longer than that. Our wedding was just the two of us (we eloped) and it was perfect. We've been together over 5 years.

I never pictured myself as a wife, even when we were dating. Just because I knew he was the one for me didn't mean I assumed he would feel the same way. Don't tell him, but even now, I don't always know what I'm doing.

Being with him is easy but I know that a relationship takes work. We were in a long distance relationship before we got married. There were a lot of hours in the car and ridiculous cell phone bills. I still have nights where I get in bed and am just so happy to be next to him because of all the nights we were apart.

Living together has been great, but we have settled into our ways. So much so that I tend to retreat when faced with new people and places. It's just so easy to stay home, sit back, and watch a movie every weekend (that would be our favorite date). I want our life to be fun and happy. That can be difficult when the roof starts leaking, deadlines loom, and there's a giant hairball in the middle of our bed. Not to mention when the in-laws call or the holidays come up.

Falling in love with my husband was the best thing that ever happened to me. But I know all relationships take work. I am determined to go out and do new things and put in the effort, the time, and the energy in order to make staying in love even better than falling into it.

I want to make my husband happy. This is the life I didn't even know I wanted. So I've decided it's time to get back to dating my husband.

We did date for 2 years. Surely we remember how, right?

-The Happy Wife