Football, Cake, Festive Sparklies, And Protecting The Factory

I started decorating for Christmas over a week ago. I wanted to go through all my bins and organize them and give some stuff away to the Goodwill, so I knew I was in for a long haul. I also knew that I had to decorate more carefully this year, and that I had to rein myself in a bit. Think more creatively. Outsmart the kitties and give my decorations a chance to survive another year.

This year, I only am decorating in the large upstairs living room/dining area and kitchen.

I put all the bins in the kitchen. ALL OF THEM. All twenty? Something like that. Not good. I could not use my kitchen for 4 days. And when Mav wanted to go out that back door there? Yeah. That was a process.

Oh, and my bathroom has a festive shower curtain, but I did manage to keep it very tame in there compared to past years (what? Am I the only one who's put giant, sparkly garland around all one's bathroom mirrors and medicine cabinets? And lots of Christmas ornaments sprinkled all around the towels and toothbrushes?). So I say the bathroom doesn't really count. There are no lights in there or anything like that. So it couldn't possibly count. No extension cords needed. You still have to turn on the light or it's dark in there. That is a valid point because we haven't used a lamp or kitchen light upstairs since I found my box of Christmas lights. The bathroom, just some towels and the shower curtain. And shower hooks. Shut it.

I wanted to get the bulk of the decorating done before the hubby was home for a few days. I was also super cleaning, which in my world is different than regular cleaning, although it happens pretty regularly. It's the "use all the vacuum attachments, move the furniture and clean under it then move it back" type of cleaning. And if it is fabric or fabric-like and fits in the washer, it's gettin' washed.

Anyway, the hubby and I have been running all over for a couple months. It seems like stuff was breaking here at home on a daily basis and that his long hours at work were starting to take their toll. We'd also just seen my lovely family twice, and although we wanted to drive to see them, we figured we wouldn't be able to stay that long anyway. Drive 7 hours to stay a day or two, then head back... It was a little too much for us to do this time. I think we just knew that we needed a break in general, so we decided to not travel at all over the weekend and just stay home.

Tuesday night, the hubby came home from work and announced his vacation was starting NOW, so surprise! I was happy for him, although I was still knee deep in cleaning and bins upon bins of festiveness. I finished cleaning, shut the bins, and we just spent the long weekend resting.

We did not leave the house. Not once.

I love my husband. I love our pets and our home. But Sweet Jesus, come Sunday, I was ready for him to go back to work.

There was a lot of football (please someone explain to me why we watch games where he doesn't care about EITHER team, oh my God I am going to have an aneurysm), a big turkey dinner, and lots of sitting on the couch watching Netflix movies and DVRed sitcoms from the past couple weeks. I think we were just proud of ourselves for still showering regularly. I love him, but wow. The football and the educational television. I was tired of being tired. Phew phew, phew phew, as he plays his game. Swear, swear, when it doesn't go well. Just having to remember that there are 3 meals a day, every day, that I get to deal with for more than myself is such a pain in my arse.

I did a lot of cooking and baking. Which I enjoy and I'm not complaining. I just find it easier when I just feed the hubby supper and don't have to worry about breakfast and lunch. In related questions, why has no one told me about those Rhodes frozen rolls before? I had a coupon and holy crap, I could have just eaten the tray of those for dinner. Screw the slow cooked turkey breasts, from-scratch mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, stuffing, and gravy. I just want those rolls. I don't even need a plate. I'll just juggle them in the air and eat accordingly.

Hello cranberry coffee cake experiment. I declare you a SUCCESS! Even if I did add a sprinkled crumbled topping TO A BUNDT CAKE BEFORE BAKING. Yes, yes, smart people out there, that does mean that I put on a topping that ended up being the bottom of the damn cake. Oh well. All the better to glaze you then, my dear.

Hello red and green sugared snicker doodles. I declare you FESTIVE! Holiday platter! BOOM! SNAP! SNAZZY HEAD BOB INDICATING I AM SASSY AND AWESOME!

I have an awesome Paula Deen cookie jar I got after Christmas on clearance last year. Plannin' on keeping that puppy full, and sending a lot of treats to the hubby's office, all through this holiday season.

Early last week, as I was putting up ONLY TWO trees, I had the windows open and was dying of heat. It was 75 or something ridiculous like that. Cut to a couple days later, Thanksgiving morning, and we had this.

It was cold and snowy and oh so festive! You can't tell from the photos but it was really coming down, too!

The hubby ran Mav out and came back in with foggy glasses and a layer of snow. I told him to turn around and give me a sexy over the shoulder look since the snow showed up best on the back of his coat. Heh heh heh.

And yes, I did HAND MAKE that wreath there. Thanks for noticing. I did good snagging a hottie AND making a wreath for 4 bucks instead of spending like 30 on one ready to hang. I'm double awesome?

Our long weekend ended up being rather date-less, but it was just nice having some time off. I will have to take some pictures of the house all decorated. My poor Islamic husband puts up with A LOT. There is glitter everywhere and Aphrodite the cat keeps removing all the little Christmas balls and tiny pieces of evergreen from the one tiny basket on my dining room table and hiding them throughout the house. The main tree shakes on a regular basis as we watch television, making us have to pause our show since this is indicating another 4 legged feline is climbing it from its insides. The only evidence of this is the little jingle sounds of ornaments shaking and the slightly epileptic movement of something like 8 feet of tree. It is always just enough to be jarring.

I have enjoyed being at home, for the most part, but a little bit of me is getting cabin fever. This weekend I am being forced to be social AND fancy, neither of which can be good. Not looking forward to that. For being a good, dutiful wife, I would like a reward. Hugs, I suppose.

OH, AND I ALSO WANT TO GO ICE SKATING, HUSBAND.

Seriously. Someone needs to take me ice skating. Like now. It will help with the cranky. I promise. ICE SKATING. WEE. SCARF AND MITTENS AND SKATING IN CIRCLES. LIKE NOW. IF YOU DO NOT TAKE ME SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN THE GROCERY STORE OR MOVIE THEATER I AM GOING TO FORCE YOU TO WATCH ALL THE TWILIGHT MOVIES AGAIN.

Harry Potter Date

Last weekend, as in on its opening weekend, the hubby and I saw Harry Potter on the Mega Screen. We went to an EIGHT AM showing on Sunday. Because we're nuts.

I wish someone could explain to me why I am out of focus in this photo and of course he looks super fine. Granted, it is about 7 something in the morning here, so I look the way I feel there, but IT SHOULD NOT BE SO DAMN LITERAL. I didn't even retouch this. Someone (cough, cough) doesn't know how to use the photo editing software enough to do more than crop or red eye, and I didn't even do that. Sheesh.

Anyway, back to our date. We were in a pretty good mood and the movie, although very dark, was great. Of course. I love me some Harry Potter.

I'm so glad I've already read the books (and am now rereading them). Without knowing the ending, this second to last movie would have been very depressing, possibly to a "I'm not getting out of bed this week" level. There would have been a lot of sighing and muttering to myself in my general life. "Poor Harry Potter!"

My husband would have heard a lot of soft whispers, catching only a word or two here and there about "dementors" and "murder" and "muggles" and "those poor kids!"

Thankfully, I know everything will turn out all right, so I didn't have some strange visceral reaction to a fictional story in my general life.

My mother asked us later if it was "the kind of film we would enjoy" as in my mother and my father. Since neither one of them has, to my knowledge, ever seen any of the other Harry Potter movies, and they certainly haven't read the books... I just was stunned into silence. I didn't even have time to form an answer before she started laughing and took that as her answer.

It's a Harry Potter movie. It's for people who like Harry Potter. My brain hurts.

That was our big date last weekend.

Fridge Shopping

Does shopping for a refrigerator count as a date? No?

It involves spending couple time together! We have to shower and get dressed and I'll probably put on make up! We'll hold hands?

Still no?

Damn it.

Will someone please explain to me why all the fridges Consumer Reports recommends seem to only be available online? I'm pretty comfy with internet shopping (I think I just heard my husband at his work desk, from 30 miles away, sigh and say "Yeah, you are!" under his breath). But a fridge is something that I would actually like to see with my own eyes beforehand. Compare, contrast, compare, contrast. I need to drag my husband back and forth in person, in a store between 2 or 3 fridges that are practically identical for at least half an hour while we deliberate.

I hate adult decisions and adult... dealings. Dealing with things of an adult nature.

Why does that sound so dirty? If it was half as interesting as it sounded there, it would definitely be classified as a date.

Oh, and I would also like to know why the space for our fridge is about a half an inch smaller than they make fridges now.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Oh God, it will not be sexy or romantic or cute if we end up with either A) a dorm room fridge or B) a new fridge that has to live in the garage.

*Slams head on desk over and over and over and over again*

Brian Regan Date

When I think of excitement, when I think of entertainment, when I think of a city that never sleeps...

New York City? Been there. Theater, shopping, sidewalks full of hustle and bustle. Enjoyable. Will someday go there with the hubby.

Vegas? Got married there! It's all lights, chocolate fountains, and strawberries as big as your hands delivered to your hotel room.

Fort Wayne, Indiana. Haven't been. This is the town Brian Regan flew into on Thursday in order to play a show. Was the show actually in Fort Wayne? Of course not.

Wabash, Indiana.

Wabash. Indiana. A mere 6 1/2 hour drive from St. Louis. Just me and the hubby on the open road. Oh, the intense anticipation! The time change! Our first night away from home and from our dog in a very long time. Our first time being out, taking a road trip, and NOT going to a destination where my relatives live since we got married. Our first time in a hotel since our honeymoon! I brought swim suits! I dreamed of continental breakfasts! Had delicious plans to use every towel in the bathroom!

Sigh.

Yeah, of course, our trip wasn't as romantic or lovely as it should have been. And it was entirely my fault.

The story is my brother is a huge Brian Regan fan. And for good reason. The guy is hilarious. When he wanted to see Brian Regan on tour, we all were up for it. My folks and the hubby and me gave the green light. Besides, my brother is awesome, and there is little I wouldn't do for him. And now that I'm worried that he might join the military since he's been job hunting for over a year (he was laid off like so many people have been), well, every time we can do something together, I'm ready!

Brian Regan's tour schedule... New York, Pittsburgh, Ontario, Washington, Washington, Washington, California, California, California, Boston, Georgia, Georgia, Texas, Texas, Tulsa.

And then one town, a strange, random choice, stuck in the middle with no rhyme or reason. Wabash, Indiana.

WHY? I don't know. But we got tickets and decided to make a night of it. Since Mav the dog can't be left alone for a number of reasons (she's on medicines for epilepsy and hypothyroidism, has separation anxiety, and due to age and her pills, needs to pee ALL the time), so we either take her with when we go places or we just don't go. We set up a pet sitter to come and spend the night with her, crossing our fingers it would go okay. We decided months ago to leave Thursday afternoon, see the show Thursday night, then start back home and stay in a hotel when we got tired. We figured then we'd just get home sometime Friday morning.

Well, we didn't know what the lead up to the show would be. We didn't know the husband would be swamped with work, we'd be dealing with a house full of plumbing and electric problems, and we would, in general, be less than the level of amped we had hoped to be.

It didn't help that I had no idea really where Wabash was located, and that my inability to properly combine math, time, and geography would not, as I had expected, give us almost 2 extra hours to get there... I did everything backwards, I guess. So we'd given ourselves no extra time at all. This was totally my fault.

Almost immediately, the car was full of an atmosphere of "we're not going to make it", and if not for the comedy cds I downloaded for the trip, we would possibly be divorced right now. Wasn't a lot of talkin' in the car. I felt pretty crummy for making the hubby stressed and for dragging us across 3 states in order to see a show.

The drive was otherwise uneventful. My father came from 2 hours north of Wabash (my mom had gotten a terrible cold and couldn't come), and my brother came from 3 hours west. My dad beat us by about 10 minutes, and we beat my brother (the holder of the tickets) by another 10. We were parked and walking towards the building with about 10 minutes to spare. As rushed as everything was, it was still great to see my family and to be there with my husband at my side. I had offered to go alone the previous day, but he never even seemed to consider it.

I took pictures while speed walking. Here is the Honeywell Center, which we all agreed had to be the tallest building in Wabash. This is where Brian Regan was performing. Kinda looks like a hospital.

I let out a little squeal when we turned and entered the main courtyard in front of the building. Lights! Christmas-y! I cropped my father out of this photo because I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to be on the internet. You're welcome, Pops! The hubby looks happy, for a second! Can't believe I captured that on camera!

It was pretty cold. There was SNOW in the forecast. We ran in and got our seats quickly. I immediately felt relieved and in my element. The center was large and we had excellent seats. There was a balcony behind us. Everything looked very professional and relatively new. My brother wore a shirt I had gotten him for Christmas a couple years ago, which made me happy.

I did turn to my husband and ask him if he felt okay. Never have I felt more comfortable with such speed. Hi, Rural Indiana, you are my people.

I don't know why I felt that way. I just did. There was a broad range of ages and everyone just seemed super casual and super familiar to me. I was flanked by my brother and dad on one side and the hubby on the other, and every row of people just seemed like people that I've known all my life. It was really strange for me but also made everything easy. Especially since I know we were both pretty tired, and I was fighting a (winning!) battle against feeling sick to my stomach, with a dash of car sickness, and a pinch of the first stages of a migraine that would cause us to stop for the night 10 miles out of Wabash. Don't we just look fantastic?

It is true that a picture is worth a thousand words.

I was tired but happy to be all be together and to be seeing Brian Regan. I think the hubby and I both sat back and enjoyed the show. Joe Bolster was the opening act and he was pretty funny. Of course, Brian Regan didn't let us down. He was hilarious. All 4 of us laughed hard and often. I didn't feel good and worried that I would get so sick to my stomach that I'd have to leave during the show, but I made it through. I knew that the smartest thing I have possibly ever done in my life was only eat lunch at noon and not eat any snacks or get anything at any gas stations to eat.

The show ended and we all went our separate ways. We made a little caravan following each other in our vehicles the first few miles. It felt nice.

Then, we all turned to our separate exits. My husband had to stop the car almost immediately because I was so sick. Not good. Thank God for Best Western.

They had a large Christmas tree up in the lobby, and although no one was around it, it was obvious that it had come out recently. It was decorated haphazardly and only in the middle. I could hardly believe it. It really does go Halloween, then Christmas now.

The tree would have made me a little happy if I hadn't been needing to get horizontal so badly. Thankfully, our room was close, and we got in there, I took my migraine medicine, and we went to sleep. It was all sweats and socks on our feet. There was no sweet second honeymoon for us. I was just terrified that I would wake up with my migraine, but thankfully, I didn't. It was gone at 4 am our time. And yes, we got up, got ready in 10 minutes, and headed to check out. As we walked down the hall and towards the front desk, I realized how out of it I must have been only a handful of hours before.

I was too tired to get the camera out, but I should have. The Best Western we were staying at, in the middle of NOTHING, had a very, very, very specific theme. A theme that I think probably would give a lot of people nightmares.

THERE WAS A CIRCUS THEME.

AN ELABORATE CIRCUS THEME.

I had only seen the Christmas tree. I had not noticed EVERYTHING else in the hotel. Stuffed animals in old style circus cages, paintings of circus scenes, and the clowns. Oh, God, the clowns. There were tiny clown figurines, large glass clown faces, a porcelain train with each car loaded with one clown after another... Everywhere you looked, clowns. Clowns, clowns, clowns.

There were suites with large brass name plates. The suites had circus-themed names, like Ringling Brothers Suite. It was not a subtle decorating scheme. It was a pie in your face, drill sergeant yelling at you nose-to-nose, deep voiced announcer in your ear yelling, "Are you ready for some EXTREME CIRCUS in your life? No? WELL GET READY!" BOOM! All up in your personal space, all attacking you and sh*t. Then I guess they're supposed to end their greeting with "Welcome to Best Western. We hope you have a restful time here." Sure, why not.

I think we were both pretty okay getting out of there. We headed home, this time with me driving the whole way. The motion sickness stayed away and we were back by 10 am to find Mav happy and fine.

The second we walked in the door, the hubby asked, "Where's Atlas?"

I thought he was crazy. We have how many rescued kitties? Did he really expect them all to be lined up on the staircase when we got home? It was the weirdest thing for him to say.

Then he said, "He's in the basement!" and I thought, "You've lost your frickin' mind."

Threw open the basement door, and low and behold, Atlas was up on the counter and bins and was at eye level with me. He immediately rammed his head into my nose and began purring a monster purr. Sigh.

I guess he'd known the sitter was an easy mark and had snuck into the basement an hour before we got home when she went in there to get Mav's food. She was probably completely unaware anything had happened. The 3 rescues down there were hiding under the staircase, and even though the 2 are very affectionate and loving with us, they hissed and were terrified. Those 3 hadn't met the rest of our kitties yet. It had obviously been a rude introduction since Atlas had some battle marks. We let them be and they came around later in the day.

Atlas had one major addition to his person (his cat?) and that was a giant wound in his ear. We got to run him into the vet right away and learned that it went straight through his ear. It was a mess but at least he was looked at and should be fine. Now I get to give him antibiotics and apply hot packs twice a day. Ever tried to hold a hot-as-hell, wet washcloth to a cat's ear and apply pressure for FIVE STRAIGHT MINUTES?

Twice a day.

Of course.

The perfect ending to the perfect trip.

Am I upset? Do I regret this trip? No. Maybe I would have planned a little better if I could do it over again, but I'd still want to go and for the hubby to come, too.

We would have missed a lot of laughter and we wouldn't be able to say, years from now, "Do you remember that time we drove to Wabash to see Brian Regan?"

"Oh my God. And the Circus Best Western?"

There's No We In Wii/I'm An Electrician Wizard

So, we ultimately failed last weekend. We didn't even get into the same room as the Wii.

The hubby played "Protect The Factory!" or "Where's The Medic!?!" or whatever it's called. Netflix sent me Fringe season 2.

We did both shower... So that's success in some form, right? We did not do things like put on jeans (too dressy! Where do we think we're going?) instead of pajamas and I'm pretty sure neither one of us brushed our hair.

Side note: the hubby's hair is getting long again so it's utterly adorable when he doesn't comb it. He looked so cute all weekend. Even when yelling at "noobs" (wait, is that how you spell that? Oh, wait again, who cares?) in a tone that made me stay in a whole other room from him.

I think we assumed that we'd play the Wii and have some couple time during the week... I did anyway... Because I am a moron, I guess. The hubby put in a ton of hours at work while I stayed home and tried to figure out why our toilet was suddenly empty of all water. That was a 2 day ordeal. Good news: the toilet now has water back in it. Bad news: it also has a leak that wasn't there before. Conclusion: Cannot deal with it anymore this week or will kill myself, my husband, and probably several plumbers.

I probably shouldn't say that "I" did anything there. I did examine it and find tools and kits and stare at it and check it and try this and try that (but not really - I did not actually touch any of the complicated looking parts) for the entire length of time my husband was at work.

Then he got home and spent hours upon hours locked in there trying to fix it. Which he could have easily done, had all the old broken parts not been completely rusted and impossible to remove. Pieces of the screws chipped away but not the actual screws themselves. No, they were holding steady. I'm pretty sure he ended up having to saw through them with random tools that wouldn't normally be used in a job like this.

I wish I was exaggerating. He literally got home at 5 pm (he gets up for work AT 4 AM every morning) and he was in there until past midnight. I don't know how long past, since I finally fell asleep. All I know was when I woke up he told me it was fixed and that I could use it but had a new leak. His tone made it clear that this was both the beginning and the end of the conversation. Message received my love. I just kept to myself how I was just gonna use the tiny other bathroom that we rarely use. For some unknown reason, that is what I did on Monday morning before discovering there was no water in the other toilet tank (the toilet at that time looked normal). I told the hubby later that thank God I didn't go in there and pee (not that I do that, because I'm still a lady that is all Skittles and bunnies, yada yada yada) but if I had, he would not get to come home. The horror.

I'm not a high maintenance girl, in my opinion, but I do REQUIRE indoor plumbing. Which we technically still have since everything works fine.

After that, I got to call my mail order pharmacy and try to decipher why they wouldn't mail me my med for migraines. Dealing with that, of course, gave me a migraine.

The kicker came yesterday, when I had to deal with the electric, or lack thereof. It kept going out, and about an hour after it finally came back on for good, all of our downstairs electronics (hi there, Wii!) decided not to turn on anymore and some of our outlets rejected electricity...

Turns out I am the worst AND the best electrician ever because our nice television (which is the one we never watch), the Direct TV, Wii, Wii remote control charger, and DVD/VCR player (oh yeah, did I just blow your mind again?) had no response to the power buttons on them. Not one of them showed any signs of life when I tried to turn them on. Triple checked everything was plugged into everything. Both sides of each cord - like where the Wii cord goes into the outlet AND where it goes into the Wii. Pushed the buttons. Nothing. I just about passed out.

I'd already dealt with an outlet upstairs by throwing all the fuses in the fuse box back and forth and hitting tiny green buttons that were techie-looking. Which had worked. I think. So, I figured it was the outlet not letting all my stuff turn on. Threw a bunch of other fuses back and forth in the fuse box and then went all smiley back and hit the power buttons... But you know, nothin'.

So I grabbed a nearby lamp, plugged it into the outlet. We have light. I have the control part of my electricity experiment. Maybe it was the surge protector, I thought. Plugged the lamp into every plug in on that damn thing. Lotsa light. No power when I re-plugged everything else back in. Maybe try another surge protector? So I dug around in a closet and found a spare surge protector (bonus for being married to a computer guy).

The lamp worked in that surge protector, too. Of course.

In fact, while trying to figure this out for OVER AN HOUR, the lamp ALWAYS LIT UP.

EVERY TIME.

*Bangs head against pointless entertainment equipment*

So, I just kept unplugging and plugging. I unplugged where each power cord went into each actual piece of equipment and reconnected. Nothing. Unplugged them all back into the surge protector. Tried other outlets. Other extension cords. Plug, unplug, hit power buttons. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

I did not do anything remotely new or different than I had been when I plugged them all back into the original surge protector yet again, and back into the same original outlet, and it all MAGICALLY started working. Did not do a damn thing different than I had already tried 10 times. But that is besides the point. YEAH! WOOOOO-WHOOOOOO!

And that is why I am the worst AND best electrician in the entire world. Thank you.

Dating will be resuming today, not necessarily against our wills but out of our control. Please, please, please, let us have a nice, relaxing, memorable date. The tickets are bought and plans made. We're ready! I think!