Penguin Date

Yesterday, the hubby took a vacation day from work for my birthday. We spent the morning at the St. Louis Zoo with a behind-the-scenes tour of the penguins. It was just myself, my husband, and our tour leader, Meg. She was super knowledgeable and kind. The first thing we did was spend time with the outside Humboldt penguins. This baby from last year caught my heart. He just kept closing and opening his eyes at us all adorably.

Then, this even younger baby rested in the sweetest way on the rocks. Notice how he has no stripe and no pink around his face. The penguin above had just molted into his more adult feathers. The little baby below hadn't molted out of the baby feathers yet.

It was ridiculously hot and humid already at 10 am. These penguins come from Peru and Chili, though, so they like the heat. Their water feature is really cold, so they can always take a swim. They're named Humboldt Penguins for the cold Humboldt current that runs through the waters off of that South American coast. I learned stuff. See? Still, I retained like 5% of all the things our tour leader taught us, so my pride is short lived.

I figured we'd then go inside the main area of the Penguin House. Instead, we took a long walk around back and went into the non-public part of the building. We learned some more information about penguins, saw the kitchen and how their meals are prepared, and walked through the giant room that is an engineer's wet dream. It had all the tubes and pipes that clean the water and stabilize the temperatures. The penguins inside need to be housed at 45 degrees, and serious problems happen if the temperature ever goes above 50. Their little lungs just can't take all the bacteria and fungus that is in that warmer air, and once they breathe it in, they can get sick. Also, the water needs to be cleaned pretty often. They're birds. They poop. A lot. The zoo keeps everything so clean. The husband, although a software engineer and not a hardware engineer, actually got left behind for a second because he was taking pictures of the room. Weirdo. Interesting, sure, but we're there for PENGUINS.

Then, we walked to another part of the building and sat down on the tile floor. And something amazing happened. Meg brought out 2 adorable Magellanic Penguins. To hang out with us. The second I saw them coming down the hall, my eyes filled up with tears. Emotions. I has them. Even my husband watched in awe.

Who does this? Who gets to do stuff like this? Not us! We're SO LUCKY!

THE ST. LOUIS ZOO ROCKS.

 

BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.

Penguins. Being all amazin' and stuff.

They walked all around us. It was incredible to be that close to them.

Once they were back in their penguin room with several other happy penguins, Meg attempted to talk in a very high pitched voice at them. She was trying to get them to "sing". She got them to make their "happy" noise for a minute (which DOES NOT sound happy to human ears). Then, I tried. And, HOLY CRAP.

WhosAGoodLilPenguin?You'reAGooLilPenguin!HiLilPenguins!OooosshaBoooshaLilPenguins!OooBooBooLilGuys!

 Deafening. Awesome but deafening.

We then went out into the main Penguin House and got to see all the other penguins. They were incredible. They have a lot of types together. King, Gentoo, and Rockhopper are the other penguin species at the St. Louis Zoo.

I sing-songed "Rockhoppers above my head" as the hubby took the picture below. I think the other people at the zoo were not impressed. I didn't care. Happy Feet penguins above my head! They look like little punk rock penguins. Rock on, Lil Dudes.

The penguins also splash you. But you're not annoyed. Because the culprits are PENGUINS! I got such a big splash right all over the back of my shoulder after this was taken. People nearby actually made "ahhh" noises. And they weren't the ones hit. Of course I didn't care.

They also have a puffin exhibit in the penguin house (with 2 types of ducks from Alaska who are supposedly worth the most out of all the birds in the building. Crazy, no?). Those are some exciting ducks. Few other places have puffins (or these ducks) because their exhibit needs to be kept so cool (45 degrees like the penguins). Not the prettiest ducks, I have to say. Sorry, Alaskan ducks.

Puffins, on the other hand, super cute. As is the hubby.

See the puffin nesting in the rock? Awwwwww.

This one was making eyes at us. I hearted this puffin.

It was a great experience. Here's a little video the hubby made as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06wZAC3iLU4

Because it was so awful out (and I didn't wear sunscreen like a moron), we decided to save the rest of the zoo for another date. We went to Fritz's to end my birthday celebration. Good choice, Hubby, good choice. He got their famous turtle sundae...

And I got this masterpiece. Does it not scream, "It's my birthday!?!" Sprinkles and M&Ms.

The whole day was great. Unforgettable. It made leaving my 20s behind a little easier and made my hopes for the future brighter... Bigger... Penguin-y-er. Best birthday ever.

48 Hours!

48 hours until the hubby takes me on my birthday date! He even rearranged his work schedule to spend my stupid day with me. Which would cheer me up all on its own, but we have an extra special time planned.

Did you know that I have one Christmas tree entirely devoted to penguins during the holidays? Or that I love to make Christmas ornaments? And that one of my favorite ornament subjects is penguins?

Did you know my husband took me to see March of the Penguins on a real pre-marriage date?

Did you know that I own penguin pajamas?

Did you know that I've had candy in the shape of penguins? They were peach flavored, not penguin flavored. No real penguins were harmed in the making of said candy. And it's a little weird, to be eating a creature one loves. But it's gummy penguins!

Did you know that I donate to the World Wildlife Fund because, if you specify it, they will send you an adorable animal plush of your choosing? And that my latest plush is a penguin?

Penguins!

In 48 hours, we're going to the zoo to see the...

Giraffes!

Kidding, kidding. PENGUINS! Although we may have to stop and peak in on the giraffes as well.

For the record, my love for penguins began before penguins went all mega main stream. Pre-Morgan Freeman telling their life stories and back when Chilly Willy wasn't retro. He was just Chilly Willy.

Our highlight of the day is going to be our time with the penguins. We are taking a behind the scenes tour of the penguin exhibit at the St. Louis Zoo!

We've been to the zoo a couple times, with the last time being October 2008. That's when we took these pics. It's free - and not only during certain hours on certain days free like the Butterfly House but all the time free! I swear. I just double checked.

The St. Louis Zoo is a great zoo in general. It's large, has lots of different animals and exhibits, and is just generally a really great big city zoo.

The penguin exhibit is especially wonderful. There is a little outside area for the penguins to go out and swim in non-winter months, but the main exhibit is housed in a large penguin building. They only let so many people into the building at a time,  but once you're in, you can stay as long as you like. It's nice and cold and beautiful for the penguins. As you can tell, I tend to get a little excited around them. My eyes go all crazy.

PENGUINS!

We recently found out that for a fee, you can get behind the scenes tours of certain exhibits. They have a list of the tours and you pick the one you would like to go on. Learn all about the animals and their care and even interact with them.

Yes, please pass me the penguin, I shall hold it and hug it and kiss it and love it...

Yeah, so okay, maybe my interaction is going to be limited due to my enthusiasm.

PENGUINS! Penguins! Penguins. Penguins? PENGUINS!

The Butterfly House Date

Today, the hubby took me to the Butterfly House. It was a hot, humid, and overcast day. After we parked and got out of the car, both of our glasses fogged up. We timed it pretty well. Once we got inside, it wasn't very crowded.

Although they have a new exhibit called Jurassic Bugs, it really wasn't a big deal. It was sculptural and subtle. We looked around for displays but they were few and far between. Which is okay. I don't need a life size replica of the car-sized insects from millions of years ago. Those visions would just end up joining Suzie Orman in my nightmares.

The first thing we did in the Butterfly House building was look at all the bugs that are on display that aren't butterflies. In other words, the ones that give me the skeevies. The hubby posed with the Jungle Nymphs. Lovely name. See the leaves? Those aren't leaves. Those would be the Nymphs. *Shudders.

After being successfully creeped out in exponential amounts by scorpions, huge spiders, and cockroaches of every size and color, we went into the actual butterfly part of the Butterfly House. Our glasses immediately fogged up again. Later in the day, I pulled supper out of the oven and fogged up my glasses again. It was a running theme of the day!

Back to the date. The plants and butterflies here are all tropical, so the heat and humidity in there is really, really high. The hubby took a bunch of pictures. The first 10 all turned out like this. We sat on a bench fairly quickly after we entered in order to just to take it all in, and he noticed the camera was fogged up. If we hadn't, we'd probably have 50 more awesome examples of why fog is bad for a lens.

Thankfully, the lens cleared quickly. It was nice to just sit there and let 'em all fly around us anyway. We were then able to just walk around and enjoy (and snap some non-foggy pictures). This one makes me feel like we're posing in the tropical honeymoon we didn't have. Why should I get on a plane (where I am the least fun person on earth) and travel somewhere when I can see all this in good ole Missouri? The plants are stunning in this place!

There were so many butterflies flying around. Unfortunately, our camera didn't do the place justice. They were everywhere. All different sizes and colors. They were on the plants and walkways, on little girl's legs (I guess they like innocence? Damn it!), but the main place they were was flying through the air all around us. They were so active and fluttering all around.

There were a couple little sets that were all a-twirl together. Fighting. Or possibly mating. I mean, who can ever tell, am I right, Ladies? Da dada da. Ba da. 

And that's why I'm not a stand up comedian. The husband humors my poor humor. Marrying him was definitely my greatest accomplishment. At least I was smart enough to grab him up!

Sorry. Got a little off topic there. Back to the butterflies. The hubby got some good pics of a few that had landed.

This little orange and black one was adorable.

They hung upside down, sideways, right side up...

This sweet brown species was everywhere.

My husband is such a good husband. I know walking among hundreds of flying butterflies doesn't make him feel like a fairy princess (which is good, you know, in general). I, on the other hand, even wore a swoopy swishy skirt so that every step felt enchanted. I think the husband was just glad I don't own a tiara. Even if it would have complemented my outing perfectly.

See the blue around me? Those are beautiful blue butterflies. For some reason, the camera doesn't catch the 20 more that are also in this shot. But somehow it made my outfit about a thousand times more unflattering than it looked in the mirror at home. Thanks camera.

There is a section of the Butterfly House that shows the butterflies in various stages of their pre-flying-around life cycle. I love that they show this and don't have it hidden in a back room somewhere.

For the record, I asked the hubby if he wanted me to crop him out of this photo. He loves to close his eyes when he smiles. 90% of all his photos prove this. He said, "Hell no! Leave me in." Okay, Weirdo. I should also admit that while I was taking this, I was saying, "It's not taking the picture! The screen says it's busy? Why won't this work?" Most men wouldn't be able to muster up a smile at me through that. He does so genuinely and calmly assures me the camera is indeed still taking photos.

He has to deal with a lot.

While we did the always endearing hand in hand stroll part of the time, I spent most of our date just wandering around. I guess on my last weekend as a younger person it was fitting to feel a little bit like a nursing home resident. I wander and I am at peace and I am wandering... Wander, wander. Stop and look up. Stare at something in the distance. Lose my ability to focus on one butterfly and try to see them all at the same time. Wander some more.

I made the hubby walk around the place probably 3 times. By then, we were both sweating through our clothes and a lot more people were there. I was ready to regain my rightful age. Stupid time and it's progressing in an orderly fashion.

There were LOTS of butterflies flying around me. I am not just gazing into the distance. I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD SEE THEM. Sheesh.

We snapped one more pic before we left. Always good to leave when you start to hear a lot of babies crying. At the top of their lungs.

Even the building and the lush canopy of plants around us and over us seemed to say, "Thanks for visiting. Have a safe drive home. What are you waiting for?"

You know, Plants and General Butterfly House.

"Listen Lady, a butterfly didn't land on you because you wanted it too much. You could sit here all day and it's not gonna happen."

Yeah, I know. They were just taunting me by landing on every little kid that walked by. My 5 Bath and Body Works scents were no match for the purity of a child. Yeah, yeah. Thanks Butterfly House. Is it really too much to ask for just one of them to take a little breather on my arm? Leg? Nose? I'M NOT PARTICULAR.

"Shut up about the butterflies. Visit the gift shop on your way out and please come again."

We bought 2 things in the gift shop (our entire date, still about the cost of one movie ticket). On an unrelated note, I think this picture proves that my husband could be a hand model.

Yes, there were ants in the chocolate. We ate them after supper for "dessert". I am proud of myself for doing this. And not throwing up. I couldn't taste them, and I like chocolate. So that helped. I know the ants were in there because of the crunch. It helped that my hubby persuaded me to eat one whole piece at a time (instead of wussing out and taking a tiny bite, which would have surely shown the ants inside and therefore made me much less brave). That's off the bucket list.

There was one more item. It was a much harder sell for the husband. He refused to get his own. He did try mine later. They had lots of them in different flavors with different, um, centers.

My lolly was apple flavored and had a worm inside. I did ultimately fail at finishing this but I did work at it until I could taste a tiny bit of the worm. He kind of tasted like pecans in a wormy way. I just couldn't continue on, though. Because he may taste okay but I'm still physically licking a worm and with every lick, I have to look at it and examine it and no. Sorry. The whole point was this was something I would typically be horrified about. And I was in fact horrified when I saw the bug candy during a previous trip to the Butterfly House. How aghast I was was exactly what made me determined to buy the damn thing this trip. Yeah, it's stupid. I can't argue with that.

So we kind of made our couldn't-be-less-testosterone-y date extreme (say it like a fan of monster trucks and male-junk injuring skateboard trick enthusiasts) with the addition of the bugs, right? That helped make a balance anyway. One pound of pretties, 16 ounces of gag reflex. Now we can say we tried it. And we don't ever have to try insect food items from the Butterfly House again. Seasoned veterans that we are now (been there, done that).

Sigh. Fine. There wasn't really a balance. Thank you, Husband, for taking me to the girlie land of magic. And for dating me again. I loved it today, and last week, and the week before. Always looking forward to the next moment together. This whole dating thing, genius! If I do say so myself. And I just did. So I do.

I do! Just like our wedding vows. Pow! I'm packing all kinds of magical... magic. Here.

Wow. I am so lucky someone married me. Our next date is 3 days away!

Errands of Love

Our date for the Butterfly House is still on for tomorrow. We looked up the house and saw that something had changed. Turns out the Butterfly House is no longer free. That's okay. It's still cheaper for both of us to go there then it is for one of us to see a movie. I guess the recession even messes with butterflies. Blowin' my mind there, magical butterfly place.

The lucky hubby got to spend all day with me. We ran errands and discovered that everyone at Walmart and Sam's Club must have just finished their workouts because everyone was wearing inappropriate workout wear. Nothing says let's look at giant jars of mayo quite like tiny shorts, a sports bra, tennis shoes without socks, and a very fancy metallic silver purse (*sings "Which of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong").

My favorite outfit was someone coming out of Walmart while we were parking to go into the store. It was an older man wearing a general white undershirt and, well, some short shorts. When I say short shorts, I mean, short shorts. My one pair of pj "I can't leave the house in these" shorts were incredibly modest in comparison. Of course, I started singing, "Who wears short shorts? He wears short shorts." I sang it immediately when I saw him. And while we walked through Walmart. And while we drove home.

At one point, we were passing the little girl's clothing section. I said something about how lucky we were to not have a child as we both stared at a slinky sparkly grey pair of leggings (brand possibly called "Mini-Harlot Inc"). I then heard myself sing, "Who wears short shorts? I wear short shorts." Seamless in my transition there, for sure.

How does my husband ever go out with me in public?

For the record, I was wearing a long cargo skirt. Yeah. So I don't know what to say there to redeem myself.

And for those who know me, this was not the Walmart I swore to never go into again. It was a different one.

We also went to the Humane Society because we like to buy toys for our pets there. We know it goes to a good cause. Of course, they were out of the toys we wanted. They had something else for us instead. They were on sale. There were WEIM puppies on the one. Lots of Weimaraner puppies. We're a Weim house. I compelled the purchase to happen but I am still confused as to why. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? We haven't even completely lost our puzzle virginity yet and we bought not one but two more complicated puzzles (but they were at the Humane Society! And they had kitties on the one and WEIM PUPPIES on the other! And they were ON SALE!).

The rest of the day we spent taking Mav for a drive and to the pet store. She was pleased. We also watched a lot of Robot Chicken and I made taco salads. Is there an easier meal a wife can prepare and still claim that she cooked for her husband?

Also newsworthy, I ate salad twice today. I don't think I've ever done that. In my entire life. And I hated every minute of it. I may never be able to eat healthy but I can attempt to add more healthy foods to my diet. The lettuce staggered my time between a cookies and cream ice cream cone and a cinnamon roll. I don't know if that would make most people feel less proud about the lettuce thing, but it's a major pride point for my day!

Being with my husband, that I loved every minute of. Even though it wasn't technically a date type of day, it was nice together time. We may not have been the couple picking up the giant box of tampons in Sam's Club and proclaiming "This smells like a freaking giant amount of tampons" and then collapsing into fits of laughter. I remember doing weird little dance numbers for him as we grocery shopped when we were first married, though. So we've been there, Sort-Of-Strange-Couple-I-Found-Endearing-In-Some-Weird-Way.

We were the quieter couple this time. I cheered him on as he steered the giant flatbed for the first time (instead of our normal cart). He pretended to share my disappointment in Walmart not having the one thing we went in there to get (a certain marinade for the beef noodle bowl I have every other damn ingredient for). Waved him down elaborately the few times we went to opposite ends of an aisle then somehow lost each other, all in order to evade the crowd and grab an item to save time. Never the one to love a crowd, I mostly saw everyone else as a blur. I later learned I tend to tune out. I guess there were several other clothing shockers in the stores that I missed. I think that all day (and every day), the reality is that I just don't see anybody else. All I do is look around and search for my husband if he's not next to me. Not next to me means I'm looking for him or waiting for him. When he is back in close enough proximity, I just orbit around him.  Don't get me wrong - I'm not all psycho about it. I don't think. It's just a nice thing. A nice feeling. To have that one person who just makes everything better by being around. Even the boring errands, when I run them with him, are errands of love.

Fight. Need. To. Finish. Stupid. Puzzle.

I have done a decent job at fighting the urge to finish the puzzle while the hubby is at work.

I've watched a really, really stupid movie full of actors that I thought I would love to watch in anything. Turns out I have my limits. Stupid... Grinding my teeth. Clenching fists. Rubbing temples. How can you make a movie with the 4 funniest roles going to Danny DeVito, Will Arnett, Jon Heder, and Dax Shepard NOT FUNNY? Now, that takes some talent. Stupid movie-making people grumble grumble grumble stupid grumble...

Did laundry. Washed dishes. Watched lolcat videos.

Anything to stop myself from my need to finish things.

Researched about a million things to do in the St. Louis area for future dates. All of which seemed awesome! None of which seemed like something we'd want to do this weekend.

My birthday is a week from tomorrow and we have big plans. That makes me not want to do anything too exciting this weekend on what would be a couple days before said big plans. It doesn't help that my general feelings about my birthday are not terribly positive. I am hitting a number that makes my brain hurt. This is the first time I'm reaching an age that I do not want to hit. I think I can feel a hair going grey right now.

We talked about going to Dave and Busters. Which sounds really fun in theory. I like food. I like games. I love my husband. I should enjoy myself. Still, I have an irrational fear of Dave and Busters. The crowds and the games and the (searching for the right word here) protocol? The unwritten rules? How to do what, when, and how. Not my scene. I would like to go if I knew that only a few people would be there and that I would not do something really stupid and make a fool of myself. On all the ads, everyone looks like they are having the best time ever. Unfortunately, I can see myself in a different version of the ad that would never be televised. I'm causing some kind of injury or accident with myself and a waiter, game, other table, other person, other people... Yeah. You get my point. Stuff is going to get knocked over, drinks spilled, ankles sprained. It's rare that I wish the hubby and I were drinkers. Dave and Busters is going to be one of those times where I'm going to really wish that I could toss back a little liquid courage.

For the record, liquid courage makes me really warm. And really sleepy. So in reality, it still wouldn't be a lot of help.

We talked about going up in the St. Louis Arch, something we've never done. We've gone and seen the Arch but I was too scared to ride up to the top. A fear I now consider rational since I remember working one of my evening shifts as a nurse and hearing all about how the elevator got stuck. The people were stuck before my shift started and they still weren't down when I was driving home. No thank you. Still, it's on the list. I shouldn't be allowed to continue living here if I never see the world from the top of the Arch.

We talked about the AKC Dog Museum, the Wax Museum, the History Museum, the Science Center, the Transportation Museum, and the Kemp Auto Museum (those last 2 are indeed different places).

We talked about the ice rink that we recently figured out was in fact an ice rink. We've been driving by it for 4 years but all it has is a giant Hardees sign. It looks like a corporate building. Since Hardees has its corporate headquarters here, we just figured it was somehow related to that. Not that it was, in fact, a Hardees sponsored ice rink. That was kind of a leap we just never made. It just puzzled us (heh heh puzzled) that it was always full and there was just this weird arrangement of people that seemed to be coming and going. Took a little research and then a lot of things made a lot more sense. Anyway, isn't it amazing when you find things you never knew were there? Sounds fun. Just not this weekend fun.

The husband came home today and came up with another idea. The speed at which he came up with it was a little suspect but I couldn't deny the appeal. He offered to take me to the Butterfly House this weekend.

Despite my best tries, I could not get him to admit that he did not actually want to take me to the Butterfly House. He saw all my "But you hate the Butterfly House" remarks and raised them with "It'll take great pictures" and "I don't hate it" replies of his own. We've been there together once, and I took my mom once a couple years later when she visited. The husband did not accompany us because it's just not his thing. It's his Dave and Busters, I suppose. Anyway, I enjoy it. It is this giant, all-glass greenhouse that houses all these beautiful plants and butterflies. You can see the butterflies in all their life stages and when they are ready, they fly out into the main area, which is chock full of flying, fluttering adult butterflies of all shapes, sizes, and colors. I mean A LOT of butterflies. A LOT. I can see why it's not the hubby's thing. It immediately brings a woman back to little girl rainbows and unicorns. There are water features and a stone sidewalk and lovely benches to sit on and you can stay as long as you like. There's no tour, no real schedule. You just go in and enjoy. Sometimes they land on you! It makes a girl giddy! Ooooooh! Oooooh!

Yes, I do spend the entire time trying to get them to land on me. How did you know?

Did I mention it's free? St. Louis is so awesome. We have so many free attractions.

Of course, the gift shop isn't free. There is also a little bug set up (probably to balance out the enjoyment factor for the sons who get dragged along to this place). With really, really shriek-inducing bugs. We're not talking houseflies here. Last time I was there, you could buy candy with bugs in it. So it's a gift shop for everybody. Man, I suck at gift shops. I hope we keep it a free date. By we, I mean me. Although I don't think it would be on me if we came out of there with a damn butterfly puzzle.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Puzzling Injury Report - Our Puzzle Date

On Saturday, we decided to open up the puzzle for our stay-at-home date. Obviously, Atlas and Mav started helping my husband immediately.

The choice in puzzle still confounds me. St. Peters. Sure, let's puzzle-out one of the holiest Christian sites a couple weeks before Ramadan? WTF, Husband? We sure are a great mix, though, I have to say. I fast for a month a year and he gets psycho-Christmas-a-fied every December.

Also still puzzling, my lapse in self-knowing. The pile of puzzle pieces was too much to ignore for Isley. He spent as much time at the table as we did. He seemed perplexed as to why we were doing whatever it was we were doing.

How did I not know? How could I not assume that a very complicated, difficult, tortuous puzzle would frustrate and infuriate me? I like to start and then finish a task. The end to this is so far off the horizon that it’s in another plane of existence entirely.

Atlas acts like he's not interested. Whatever, Atlas.

There were moments of fun. Every time I put two pieces together, a little happy noise escaped from me. There were moments where I enjoyed just being with my husband and sitting close to him.

We started out with what was, in my opinion, a stellar attitude. We were all "We're gonna do this thing!"

"Team Us!"

We were definitely going to show that puzzle who was boss. Ready to tell that puzzle a thing or two. Ready for victory!

"You shall not win, Puzzle! We are a force to be reckoned with, Puzzle!"

Those moments were within THE HOURS we spent working on this damn thing. For me, it was mostly an exercise in patience and humility. And in keeping the puzzle pieces on the table. Oh, and an attempt to stop injuring myself. I knocked my knee so hard into a table leg that I have a rainbow bruise the size of a half dollar. I also managed to whop my ankle into a table leg in a way that made me think I have a new area on my body with funny-bone capabilities.

At one point, my husband said, "This is your table." True, it's very old and was the dining room table I grew up with and have had in my life all of my life. "How are you even able to hurt yourself on it," he asked while shaking his head in disbelief. For the record, he didn't even stub his toe. Not once.

Crazy Arty face. Love it.

We also joked about the benefits of such a team building exercise. Constructing new levels to our loves!

So many skills that can translate into making our marriage strong, Honey!

Oh yeah! Workin’ together! Solvin’ problems! Makin’ progress that is both tangible and visible! Oh yeah!

My husband, of course, seemed to be enjoying himself. I knew within the first hour that I may have lost him for the rest of the weekend.

You know what is helpful when you're sitting there, considering whether "hate" is a strong enough word to describe what you're doing? What is helpful is having a nice view. My husband, he is very handsome. I love it when he's all thinking and stuff. His expressions. His stern, thoughtful search for the proper place for the piece in his hand. His groan when Mav, who had been doing nothing noticeable, came and spit out an unknown missing piece on the floor next to him. His easy smile when Arty would steal his chair.

His laugh when a few hours later, Arty did it again.

I did love seeing all the little peeping heads pop up over the table. Pandora was one of the best at this. How cute is that? It killed me!

Hi there. I help, yes?

Saturday afternoon ended with what I assumed was to be a flawless finish - a nice home cooked meal. I like to cook for my husband. I'm no chef but I've made some tasty meals. I made the mistake of trying out a new recipe for supper. I have to preface this all by saying that I make an incredible jerk chicken. This was also called jerk chicken and was highly rated by a site I love (http://www.allrecipes.com/). It was a marinade (usually I just season and go). It was a very different recipe. It smelled great! But...

It tasted awful. How could something that smelled so good taste so incredibly bad? I would have preferred to gnaw on the puzzle pieces. Oh, life's little mysteries. My sweet husband said it was good and ate his and mine, then the leftovers the next day. His taste buds are beyond forgiving. I tried. Still, I know, not my best day.

At least it was kind of fun. That is as complimentary as I'm going to get. I do love being at home. I love being at home even more when my husband is with me. There's a calmness and a happiness there. Even in the face of an obstinate puzzle.

We'll probably be finding pieces hidden

throughout the house by kitties for months.

Despite the eye, neck, and shoulder strain, we soldiered on. It was worth it to see Pandora attempt to make a bed in the box top and to get the outline done.

I'm in a box!

Saturday night we moved it to a safe place, then got it back out on Sunday. We're nowhere near done. Why I thought we could just bang this sucker out, I don't know. I guess I'm just not puzzle people. This became clear after I started saying, "This puzzle can suck it" and other such zingers aimed at putting the puzzle in its place. Those started before we finished our first cup of coffee.

Someone is going to have to put a lot more thought into our next stay-at-home date (that someone would be me). Because I would prefer not to hurdle obscenities at our activity of choice. But, I like that my husband seemed to enjoy this. I think, if forced, I could learn to like this hobby if he really wanted me to do so. I like that it was a piece of art. Maybe next time, though, a puzzle with something specific on it. Focal point. Oh, and contrasting colors and shapes. That'd be nice. Maybe less pieces...

Wait... I think I'm just picturing an art print right now. We could make it interactive by... Not buying it already framed?

Now, I'm planning a date where we pick out a frame? After those 5 minutes are up, we go to Sonic, I guess. The puzzle is suddenly sucking a lot less as I am sucking so much more. Puzzle date now approved and applauded. Team Us!

I Am Offended By Your Judgment, Husband

The heat index today and tomorrow is 105-110 degrees. We may get a cool down to the mid 90s on Friday before the rubber band snaps and we're right back in hotter-than-hell weather.

As much as I want to see some wolf puppies, I cannot take a walking, hour long tour in this kind of heat. Maybe next weekend. This weekend, an outdoor date is, well, out the door. 

On our way to the movies last weekend, I talked to the husband about how nice a picnic date would be. He opened his mouth. Shut it again. Laughed a quick laugh. Did his serious expression. Scratched at his little goatee, which he does when he is thinking about something deeply. He was at a loss for words.

"Honey," he said finally, "you are not a picnic-type of girl."

I was a little taken aback by this. I made the big shocked face (opened my mouth and eyes as wide as they would go) and held it for a very long, dramatic moment. He laughed but I could tell he was serious.

"It is not like I'm saying I want to go spelunking! Jesus!" I am shocked and appalled.

I'm admittedly not the sort of girl who does well when you mix the outdoors with the athletic. No camping for me. I can, however, sit on a blanket and have a snack. Despite our conversation (in which I stated my case that yes, I could possibly be a picnic person), he still had very intense reservations about my ability to enjoy such a date.

No, I don't want to have a picnic in 110 degrees. It won't be in the belly of summer when the bugs are the thickest and the heat the heaviest. Yes, I will wear 4 of those little skeeter fans that keep the bugs away. I am super excited about planning a tasty, mobile meal. We can bring Mav and give her a rope with a rawhide on it! I see no issue bringing along a dog that is solely motivated by food. It'll be fun!

My husband would not stop laughing at me. He could barely contain himself once my defenses included things like "It' be great after the first frost!" and "It's a step away from eating in the car at Sonic!"

My husband once took a vacation where he spent a week hiking through the Grand Canyon. Beautiful photos, he took. He did not focus on the fact that there were no showers. No restrooms. He hiked the Grand Canyon. Oh hell no. I get that I am not that type of girl.

But a picnic? I mean, how could that not possibly be lovely? He agreed that we could certainly try it. The knowing expression on his face was not lost on me, though.

Then, the next day, he started telling me all about Meramec Caverns.

And how you don't need to take a course or anything like that in order to tour the caves!

And it's like 50 degrees year round since it's underground!

The tours are handicapped accessible!

Which means that this happy wife should be able to do it! Happily! Wooo-whoooo!

How on earth did my wanting to go on a picnic lead to this idea? A + B = a ham sandwich. I am... With the... Wait, what?

I'm up for trying new things. I really am. So instead of immediately saying no, I gave myself a moment. And I thought it might be fun. I also thought about how it might mean I need to be attached by cables and ropes to the ceiling of caves and that didn't sound like a good idea but I pushed that aside. Focused on how excited the prospect was to the hubby. It's on the list now.

But this weekend, maybe we should plan on a nice, stay at home date. In the air conditioning. We haven't quite been able to do that yet. When we stay home, we end up working on our own things or averting whatever crisis comes up. If we do spend time together, it usually means we watch something from Netflix. So far it's been easier out of the house and I would like that to change.

And that means that for it to change, we need to change it. Up. For. The. Challenge. Of this weekend and future weekends!

We're Spontaneous! The St. Louis Art Museum Date!

Our dating has become spontaneous. Holy crap.

Yesterday, I had an unfortunately (for our bank account) awesome (for all things non-bank account related) morning at the Hallmark Ornament premier. I wore my Animal tee shirt because I was going for one ornament. As much as Suzie Orman terrifies me, if she came to get me, I would plead my case. I love him. I needed him. NEEDED HIM. He goes with my other Muppets on my bookshelf. They have sound. I regret nothing. The fact that I left with, well, more than one ornament... Stay in my nightmares, Ms. Orman!

I followed that up with a trip to the grocery store, which helped to quell some of my guilt (I'm a good wife! I cook for my husband! Right?). We'd talked for the past couple days about going to a non-profit center for wolves but we found out that you had to call during the week before you could show up for the public tour. Wish the website actually listed this with all the tour information. They tell you all about the wolf puppies and coming to see them but they leave that part out. Argh. We figured we'd try to do something another weekend. Plus, we'd just seen a movie, and although that isn't out of our norm, it still counts.

When I got home from my errands, my husband, out of the blue, asked if I would like to go to the St. Louis Art Museum. And so we did!

If we'd researched it, we might have realized that the place is under major construction. I don't have the greatest memory anyway but the hubby assured me that everything looked completely different. Plus, a lot of stuff wasn't out to see due to the remodeling. That will be done in 2012. I guess at least we didn't know that the main draw would end up being the gift shop (again, bad for the bank account).

We had a nice, air conditioned date walking from one room to another. The first thing we saw was this cat. The hubby, he just can't get away from the felines. Even inanimate ones. And yes, the title of this piece was "Cat".

We then saw the rooms upon rooms of stuff I continued to swear I could find in my grandmother's boxes labeled "Old Crap". Other similar boxes may be labeled "Fragiles". Figurines and dishes upon dishes upon dishes. Some of my powdered-wig type white porcelain little men and ladies with their dusty rose and country blue painted embellishments may not have all their limbs now, but they are in the damn basement. Non-matched china? I put my chin up in your general direction. I know you, Non-matched China. We are well acquainted.

Then, we got into the furniture. I heart this chair (in its ugliness, I can only love more). Sweet Jesus. I mean pansies. Or poppies. Sweet small pretty colored flowers. Why sit on the floor when you could sit 3 inches up off of it? The ground is for peasants! See how high up I am? Pssst.

I apologize for the fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants dating attire. Someone was still on a Hallmark high.

I wasn't high enough to miss this next piece of art. Carpet. Carpet as art. It was in a room furnished in antiques that you could walk 2 feet into and look at over a very elaborate railing. Thank goodness! I wanted to roll in it! But, like a Picasso, you mustn't touch. Respect the art!

Last time we went to this museum ( which was about 5 years ago), I was so impressed by the paintings. The architecture. The beauty. I kept exclaiming, "I can't believe this is a free museum!"

This time, I was not so surprised. "This is a free museum" did repeat in my mind, though. Several times.

One of those times was when we stumbled upon this piece of furniture art. DIYers with no experience, get ready! I am pretty sure this is what would happen if I attempted to make a dresser. I would be angry about it (and at it) before, during, and after construction. How nice that a museum would take it off someone's hands! So I don't have to walk by it everyday and kick it. Then swear about how this piece continues to pain me.

I again had some sort of attack when I came to this next one. You could say I had a "Where's Waldo" moment with this fireplace screen. Several moments, actually.

This was followed by me getting really excited and yelling in a museum, "I see the dragon! It's a dragon!" I then read the title of this piece. Salamander. Son of a... Grrrr. *Pulls hair out with own hands.

There were also mummies.

My husband just said, "Those were over 4000 years old, Baby!" in a very excited tone. Because I had to turn to him just now and rehash our conversation from the museum. My problem with these incredible pieces of real history was that the mummies were in their coffins, each encased in a large glass case, BUT THE COFFINS WERE ALL BROKEN AND STUFF. So you could see (gulp)... I'm breathing in, breathing out... Deep breaths...

YOU COULD SEE PARTS OF THEM. We spent a good 5 minutes in there with me repeating "But that's not them in there, right? I mean, that's not his actual foot, right? I'm not actually looking at the exposed foot of the guy."

My husband won't stop telling me as I am writing this that those were, "100% authentic, honest to goodness, real, live mummies!" I am still having trouble with this (although not enough trouble to not tease him about the "live" part). I did not take a picture. Because the memory alone gives me oh so much.

The mummies room led to a cool exhibit. As in, one that didn't give me goose-flesh all over. There were all kinds of weapons and knight's armour and medieval goodies. No dead things sticking out of those. I don't think I'll turn and ask my husband if any of the armour still had knight parts inside. This is where I found the name of a knight that if by some rampant, belligerent, and miraculous act of God we get to name a child, we have that little monster covered.

I dig it. I wasn't ready for the name that awaited me in the next case of armour. The world record for worst name ever, could it be next to our lil Wilhelm Pumpkin-kins?

"Possibly French".

Oh yeah.

Or does it just need some time to simmer in the brain before the mind realizes how perfect this would be for child numero dos? See how I'm mixing all these different cultures and sh*t? You're welcome.

Finally, we hit the gift shop completely by accident. The husband found a puzzle that he thought was "awesome" (and since I had mentioned this idea earlier as a stay-at-home date option, I jumped on it, despite how bizarre this puzzle was). I then found an arty shirt that I loved. The 2 frightening cashier ladies (older, stern stone faces, eyes like those in a haunted mansion painting that follow you) suddenly came to life when I touched it on the display. They made a dressing room appear right in front of me (the wall, it opens!). I tried the shirt on, and it was too big!

As much as any girl loves to find something she loves, is it not even better when said thing is too big? That means I am too small. This translated into my mind as "I definitely can make that chocolate cake with the cheesecake inside of it for my birthday now!"

They had one shirt in a different design that was in my size. I kinda loved that, too, so we ended up with our souvenirs. You'll know the shirt when I wear it on a future date. My boobs, they are the sky!

So our spontaneous streak starts! And possibly ends!

I wonder how our puzzle date will go. I wonder how easily I'll get frustrated. It is 1000 pieces. Just wait until you see the picture... Lord. It almost makes me think they make puzzles hard on purpose! What the what!