The Bright Side: Most Of The House Doesn't Have Termites!

Been sort of a weird couple days. I am finding the bright side for once. Maybe that's just because since May 1st, I've been all, "This is NOT my month! AHHHHHH!"

At some point, I just have to throw my hands up and accept whatever is coming my way. Think I'm there. And it's only May 8th, so good timing. I have a while left of this disastrous month.

So, we have termites.

Of course. I mean, why wouldn't we? It would be crazy for us to not have termites. Duh. Bad things that you don't think will happen to you have to happen to someone. OF COURSE IT'LL BE US. The real question is how do we not have bears. Or cancer. Or a rare form of bear cancer never before seen in humans.

Don't worry. We won't die from it. A tsunami will get us before that. Here, in St. Louis. Probably on a lovely sunny day. Tsunami's like to sneak up on ya. A blessing, putting us out of our bear cancer misery. See! Bright side! I can find it!

The termite guys are here. Only two and a half hours later than they said they would be here!

But they are here! Bright side!

And they were really nice. Excellent English. Blinding bright side!

And I know they're working. Because the whole state can hear the noise of their termite killing drilling machines. Ka-pow! Gotta wear shades, it's so bright!

We caught the termites in the front of the house, in 2 of the 5 posts. You know, the ones holding up our roof. You can see them in a photo I just posted when I took pictures of the doves on the front eave.

Update: The doves pushed over their nest.

So no more adultish-baby doves.

Hope they just flew off to live somewhere else.

Mom and Dad are still here rebuilding

and driving the cats insane.

The termites haven't reached the actual house yet, so we caught them early. Which is good. Bright side!

Now we're going to kill them, which is ridiculously expensive.

Um... I really like my necklace. And my cute little cami/floral blouse/short sleeved sweater outfit. Feelin' good! Bright side!

When I say "we" are killing the termites, obviously by "we" I mean other, professional termite people. I am inside the house on the computer trying to talk myself down from the ledge of an overstuffed online Kohls cart overseeing everything.

The small damage the termites have done so far is mostly aesthetic, so, in other words, Happy Wife doesn't care. So, bright side? Sure.

Says the lady who planned on replacing the dead shrubs in the front. Who cleaned out the soil beds and trimmed back all the other shrubs only to decide to "do it next year" because she got too tired after those tasks and the couple prime planting weekends came and went. And bonus, we saved money I would have spent on a million cubic feet of dirt and a bunch of new shrubbery.

Shrubbery is a fun word. Bright side!

I have a large tree limb down in the backyard from however long ago that's been on my to-do list for a while. I will have to move it to mow. Whenever that happens. It's been raining. Stop judging me.

The bright side?

This view from the kitchen window gets less frustrating

as the grass has grown to hide most of the limb.

Killing 2 birds with one ballet lesson.

Because avoiding it and watching it become less pronounced

still means I need to move the limb AND mow.

It's better if I don't even put "make the ugly posts look prettier" on the to-list. That was on the list before termites. A task that essentially has meant "replace those posts" and has been on the "things to fix in the house" since we moved in here.

My point is with the termite damage so far, we don't need to replace anything or worry about structural issues. Bright side.

Hopefully, in 3 hours, the termite treatment will be done. Then I can run to the vet and pick up Mav's medicine. Her medication blood levels were bad, which was "good news" (I am quoting the vet there) since maybe giving her a different dosage will make her feel better.

Bright side:

Mav's alive!

And even my house shoes

are a-dor-able.

(Brought to you by A Bonus Bright Side!)

Sigh.

Is it June yet?

The Five Year Engagement Date

Well, the hubby and I finally got out of the house together yesterday. We hadn't been to a movie together for a while. I asked him repeatedly if he wanted to see The Avengers, but he stuck with The Five Year Engagement.

Yes, I did inform him that it surely looked to everyone else like I was making him go see the romantic comedy. Or he was being punished. Or he was simply whipped.

*Ka-psssssss*

That was the whipped sound I made all Sunday morning.

Anyway, we had popcorn and beverages and sat in a theater with 2 other couples. Who came in after us, so we had the joy that comes with walking into a completely empty movie theater. Which I think may have been a factor in the hubby's movie pick. We did want to sit together and there was no guarantee of that at The Avengers.

It was a decent movie. We laughed. I think it helped that we loved pretty much everyone in the cast already - Jason Segel (who co-wrote and starred), Emily Blunt (who I can't look at without going, "You're married to Jim from The Office!"), Alison Brie (Mad Men and Community? The girl can do anything!), Chris Pratt (who, again, makes me go, "You're married to Anna Faris! AHHHH I LOVE THAT!"), Brian Posehn (go get his comedy cds NOW if you don't have them), and Chris Parnell (Dr. Leo Spaceman on 30 Rock - one of my favorite characters in anything ever). 

We both said afterwards how we were glad we didn't have a long engagement like the couple in the film. It could have happened. I offered to move here and live apart or together before we got married. I mean, we were in a long distance relationship even if we spent almost every weekend together. 400 miles each way is no small feat.

The hubby, for the record, wouldn't have it. I said I'd live in apartment since house shopping was a first for both of us and it sucked big time. I'm not even going to get started on that. The hubby bought the house we liked best when my graduation from nursing school got closer and closer. And even though we eloped, he planned our elopement months in advance and the wedding was perfect... Everything really ended up for the better for us. I'll give him that. He knew best at that time, and I freely admit that I was the big idiot for ever thinking anything else had been a good option.

Now we're married so I get to always be right afterwards, yes? Heh.

The movie was very "we're newly in love" despite the fact that it took place over many years. There was an awful lot of making out in the movie. And because I feel guilty sometimes that I'm not all kissy kissy like the beginning of our relationship, I asked my husband on the drive home, "Are we still that in love?"

Because sometimes I like to say some winners. Particular favorites include "Do I look pretty?" and "Don't forget, every other woman in the world has herpes. And syphilis. And The AIDS! THE AIDS!"

Sometimes I continue to yell "THE AIDS" with more and more urgency and end with grabbing the collar of his shirt dramatically.

"I am dying first or we're going together. End of options!" is also popular. "I think we should talk about our feelings!" always makes both of us laugh. Which probably means we both need therapy. I say it in a fake mad voice since we're not really fighters, and I do it because I think those in normal, non-us relationships surely say it sometimes.

Bob The Doctor makes a routine appearance as well in our conversations when the hubby starts working too much overtime. Bob is, other than obviously being a doctor (hence the name), a fictional suitor of mine that only works from 9-4 Monday through Friday and is always up to basically take me out wherever I want, whenever I want. He cures cancer but never afterhours and is never on call due to his brilliance. He is an orphan but is always emotionally available, has already done all the traveling he wants to do, and he only likes a lady with some meat on her bones. Thin women are physically fragile and might break just from trying to open the door at Red Lobster (says Bob, the medical professional!), where said ladies order only salads. Bob refuses to let me order salads anywhere since lettuce is for rabbits. Bob's the kind of guy who would always go get me a Blizzard no matter the time of day.

I know, I know. Sometimes my wheel's a spinning but the hamster's dead. Like now. And like during the drive home that I was just talking about before I went on my psychotic tangent.

Bob thinks my tangents are adorable!

Anyway, it's not like the hubby and I are not as affectionate and in love as we used to be because we are. But, I mean, we're not attempting to have sex in a snow bank on the side of a city street (Really, Five Year Engagement? Really? REALLY?).

Very seriously, my husband answered my stupid question by saying, "We're more in love now than they are because we got married earlier and have been married longer."

So, the more years one is married, the more you're in love. Says the logical software engineer completely in earnest.

If you're going to be married, yeah. Be married to that guy.

Marrying the hubby is still the smartest thing I've ever done. And that is kind of awesome. If I'm going to make one good decision... That's the one to make. Sorry, Bob. Guess you're out.

(Oprah Voice) Life Changing!

I have to get this off of my chest because I found something recently that has totally blown my mind. And I do not understand why it took me so long to discover it.

The casual cotton day dress. It's like wearing a socially acceptable nightgown all day long.

Sweet Mother Of God.

That is all.

Lower Your Expectations

Well, today is the hubby's big deadline at work. He was all suited up this morning.

We're hoping to have a nice, non-work-filled weekend. He wants to go to the movies and see The Avengers. I am up for that (Joss Whedon!) as long as he lowers his expectations. Every time we see a preview, and you know they've been playing on super repeat lately, I say, "And lower them just a pinch more, Honey!"

That way, he'll be at the needed level of expectation in order to enjoy himself. Because I have a sinking feeling about the movie that I can't quite shake.

I could, of course, be wrong (cough, cough, what? Me? For reals?). Surprised even. I can still be surprised.

Top surprises this week:

We might have a major home problem. Lovely. Only we could live in a brick house that possibly has termites. There's an important word in there and it's shockingly not the word "termites".

Store-bought rotisserie chicken made into sandwiches with sharp cheddar and soft wheat bread was better than anything else I could have cooked this week. Add some Fritos. One and done, my friends. Even complicated meals would not have been comparable. Eating alone + the perfect sandwich = as close to happy as one can get as a work widow.

Realizing you're laughing out loud while reading a book in an empty house has to be the definition of finding something really funny, and I've done it every night this week. Jenny Lawson's new book is so enjoyable that I just ordered one to be sent to my mother so that we could be reading the same book at the same time. Let's Pretend This Never Happened has been so fun to read, and I'm only halfway through. Bonus: it makes you appreciate your life and your childhood. Not an easy feat.

We'll see if the weekend brings more surprises!