Errands of Love

Our date for the Butterfly House is still on for tomorrow. We looked up the house and saw that something had changed. Turns out the Butterfly House is no longer free. That's okay. It's still cheaper for both of us to go there then it is for one of us to see a movie. I guess the recession even messes with butterflies. Blowin' my mind there, magical butterfly place.

The lucky hubby got to spend all day with me. We ran errands and discovered that everyone at Walmart and Sam's Club must have just finished their workouts because everyone was wearing inappropriate workout wear. Nothing says let's look at giant jars of mayo quite like tiny shorts, a sports bra, tennis shoes without socks, and a very fancy metallic silver purse (*sings "Which of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong").

My favorite outfit was someone coming out of Walmart while we were parking to go into the store. It was an older man wearing a general white undershirt and, well, some short shorts. When I say short shorts, I mean, short shorts. My one pair of pj "I can't leave the house in these" shorts were incredibly modest in comparison. Of course, I started singing, "Who wears short shorts? He wears short shorts." I sang it immediately when I saw him. And while we walked through Walmart. And while we drove home.

At one point, we were passing the little girl's clothing section. I said something about how lucky we were to not have a child as we both stared at a slinky sparkly grey pair of leggings (brand possibly called "Mini-Harlot Inc"). I then heard myself sing, "Who wears short shorts? I wear short shorts." Seamless in my transition there, for sure.

How does my husband ever go out with me in public?

For the record, I was wearing a long cargo skirt. Yeah. So I don't know what to say there to redeem myself.

And for those who know me, this was not the Walmart I swore to never go into again. It was a different one.

We also went to the Humane Society because we like to buy toys for our pets there. We know it goes to a good cause. Of course, they were out of the toys we wanted. They had something else for us instead. They were on sale. There were WEIM puppies on the one. Lots of Weimaraner puppies. We're a Weim house. I compelled the purchase to happen but I am still confused as to why. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? We haven't even completely lost our puzzle virginity yet and we bought not one but two more complicated puzzles (but they were at the Humane Society! And they had kitties on the one and WEIM PUPPIES on the other! And they were ON SALE!).

The rest of the day we spent taking Mav for a drive and to the pet store. She was pleased. We also watched a lot of Robot Chicken and I made taco salads. Is there an easier meal a wife can prepare and still claim that she cooked for her husband?

Also newsworthy, I ate salad twice today. I don't think I've ever done that. In my entire life. And I hated every minute of it. I may never be able to eat healthy but I can attempt to add more healthy foods to my diet. The lettuce staggered my time between a cookies and cream ice cream cone and a cinnamon roll. I don't know if that would make most people feel less proud about the lettuce thing, but it's a major pride point for my day!

Being with my husband, that I loved every minute of. Even though it wasn't technically a date type of day, it was nice together time. We may not have been the couple picking up the giant box of tampons in Sam's Club and proclaiming "This smells like a freaking giant amount of tampons" and then collapsing into fits of laughter. I remember doing weird little dance numbers for him as we grocery shopped when we were first married, though. So we've been there, Sort-Of-Strange-Couple-I-Found-Endearing-In-Some-Weird-Way.

We were the quieter couple this time. I cheered him on as he steered the giant flatbed for the first time (instead of our normal cart). He pretended to share my disappointment in Walmart not having the one thing we went in there to get (a certain marinade for the beef noodle bowl I have every other damn ingredient for). Waved him down elaborately the few times we went to opposite ends of an aisle then somehow lost each other, all in order to evade the crowd and grab an item to save time. Never the one to love a crowd, I mostly saw everyone else as a blur. I later learned I tend to tune out. I guess there were several other clothing shockers in the stores that I missed. I think that all day (and every day), the reality is that I just don't see anybody else. All I do is look around and search for my husband if he's not next to me. Not next to me means I'm looking for him or waiting for him. When he is back in close enough proximity, I just orbit around him.  Don't get me wrong - I'm not all psycho about it. I don't think. It's just a nice thing. A nice feeling. To have that one person who just makes everything better by being around. Even the boring errands, when I run them with him, are errands of love.