A Man's Worst Fear

I wonder if my husband knew what would horrify him the most during the first few years of our marriage. Currently, I think it is my obsession with something that is embarrassing for both of us, not age appropriate in the least, and the sole reason I will ever agree to getting to a Blu-Ray player.

I should mention that I have a bachelor’s degree in English Lit. So I should know better. Lots better.

Oh, the staring and the pining. Brooding, brooding, some more staring. I look at you. No, I look at you. Pine, pine, pine. Stare, stare, stare.

I cannot get enough of this. He cannot escape quickly enough.

Of course, I am talking about Twilight.

I love it all. I love the books, the story, the movies, the ridiculous marketing on everything from tee shirts to novelty candies. I even love the parodies.

Here is Aphrodite hiding under the curtains in shame when she sees one of the parody books.

And Isley, well he goes into typical male mode. Attack the girlie story! Attack! Look how my claws on my back feet are all out!

I think there are the typical fears when one marries. The spark will burn out. Someone else will be shiny and new in comparison. I’ve heard more than once that the wife coming home one day with short hair is a biggie. The list goes on and is different for everyone. From jumping giant canyons to tiny track and field hurdles, clearing the fear that comes from putting your heart in someone else’s hands is part of keeping your marriage strong.

My husband had no idea that one 4-book series would turn me into the 15 year old girl that he never knew. I would have warned him but I didn’t see it coming either. I wanted to dislike it, waiting until I saw the first movie on DVD to give the first book a try. Hooked immediately, my husband lost me for a weekend to pages of staring and brooding and pining. Sigh.

A friend of mine is celebrating her 5th wedding anniversary this weekend. My husband and I were dating when she married and we were there. Her wedding was amazing and beautiful, and there were pirates! No wonder we eloped. How could we ever compete with pirates? Sure, we eloped mostly because of the drama that our impending wedding brought onto our families, but the fact that pirates would not be able to be an integral part of our wedding was not lost on us. Sad. Anyway, she made a comment about her relationship that really hit home with me.

She said that not only were they still in love, but they still liked each other.

This must be true for us as well. Why else would my husband insist on taking me to Eclipse? I know he doesn’t want to go. Even after I offered to see it alone and let him enjoy his holiday weekend, he passed up an afternoon of watching Sportscenter and playing SoldierFieldBattle (or whatever that computer game is called). I know how much he really, really hates all things Twilight. It is proportional to how much I love it. Someone must still really like me. And that makes me all star-crossed in love with him (just like Edward and Bella! And Jacob! Only without the third wheel part in my own life!). Swoon. Pine. Stare. Brood. Only this time not for fictional characters.