The last thing on our list is something we use everyday, that has opened up our house to us, that has made my husband giddy.
Yes, I said giddy.
He's a software engineer. I didn't know they could get giddy.
My folks got us an upgrade to an HD receiver for the television we have in our downstairs family room. A room we barely ever visited. We just always watched tv upstairs on our old tv. The DVR was up there. As was the kitchen and bathroom. We just hardly ever spent time downstairs. HD seemed fancy and pointless to me.
Now, we'd tried to have Direct TV come out (by we, I mean my husband) and give us HD in the downstairs in the past. It did not work. The guy refused to drill a hole in the wall and said he wasn't allowed to drill holes. He was not really your most helpful installation guy. My husband thought he just didn't feel like doing another job that day. The guy left as quickly as he'd shown up.
The hubby then went out to see if someone other than Direct TV could make this happen. He had an estimate written out by a local place called the Sound Room to drill the hole.
They wanted $6,000 dollars. Six. Thousand. To drill a hole.
It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. It was so ridiculous that it was comical.
And it made me think I should get started in a new profession. I can make a hole in anyone's wall for 6 grand. Pass the ax, please.
We do not have an exciting or strange house. It's a regular, older house. The holes weren't going to be made anywhere questionable or difficult. In fact, there were plenty of holes that had been made for the Direct TV we already had and for the cable the guy who lived here before us had.
It had been about a year since the pointless Direct TV guy had come out. The hubby called Direct TV again after Christmas and set up an installation time. It was like they hadn't been out here before. Fine. Let's go with that.
I worked in our basement clearing out an entire corner so that the guy wouldn't have to move a thing. He had access to everything. There wasn't one box of Christmas decorations in the way, not one half full laundry hamper, not one 12 pack of pop on the counter down there.
My Empty Corner
The day before, the doorbell rang at 8 am. I had been cleaning the house for the Direct TV guy. I was luckily downstairs (not to mention awake). I was in my pjs and had to put on a winter coat to get the door. There was a lot of inappropriate comfort happening especially in the cleavage area.
I also, of course, had a pile of clean laundry on the couch directly behind me. I had folded everything except a large pile of fancy underwear. Those were spread all out, waiting to be folded. They could not have been more in view.
It was the exterminator at the door, who had never showed up before without calling me, emailing me, and snail mailing me appointment reminders for his visit every four months. Every appointment. All 3 reminders. This time, no notice. Sweet Jesus.
He did his job and thankfully made no comments about my unmentionables to horrify me even more. He left quickly and I spent the rest of the day finishing up cleaning. I had the house in great shape for the Direct TV guy.
The next day, I had shaken off my panty faux pas from the day before. Pretty much forgotten about it. Was a little more concerned about the Direct TV guy since it seemed like my husband was in the kind of mood where if the Direct TV guy came and said he couldn't do it, he might not be able to leave the house until he did.
My husband came home early from work to wait for the guy. He got here, nice and professional guy, took a look around. Gave us the green light with no drama. He said he might have to charge us an extra 50 bucks to drill one of the holes.
We were both fine with that. I thought.
I sat upstairs in the office with the dog. The husband stayed with the guy and checked in often with me. He kept sticking his head in the door whenever the repair guy was changing locations.
"He's putting the new dish on the roof!"
"He's drilling a hole from outside into the basement!"
"He's running the cable into the house!"
3 hours of this.
Then, my husband came up and said, "I made the hole from the basement into the family room and saved us the 50 bucks!"
I said something encouraging and didn't think about it. Notice he used the word "made" versus a word like "drilled".
About half an hour later, my husband came back up and said everything was finished. We had Direct TV! IN HD! Installation guy was gone. Time to see it all! He was so excited. It was pretty damn cute.
I went into the basement. The first thing I saw was the hole my husband had made for the cord.
Wow.
Just wow.
Did you guess the weapon of choice?
A saw, of course. Hand saw, non-powered.
God, I love this man.
He was so proud. Which was also pretty adorable. At the same time, I was scared the 3 foster kitties in the basement would escape into the wall. He hadn't thought of that.
So, I did my part. The hubby made the hole. Happy wife covered it up.
With appropriate labeling.
Why, yes, I did cut off a side of the box the receiver came in
and nailed it into the wall over the hole.
Then, I added the last element to complete the project.
Finally, it's good for something!
Stupid nursing degree.
From another state.
When I had another name.
Ah, memories.
As I completed this little do-it-yourself home improvement, I noticed the one thing that I had overlooked in the basement.
One thing I had left out. Well, one type of thing anyway.
The day before, I had washed all our clothes and hung them to dry. Gave myself plenty of time so that I could put them away long before the installation guy came. But one item that I washed takes longer to dry.
I didn't see them. I was blind to them. Hanging by the repair guy's head for the hours while he was in the basement. He probably hit his head on them. Repeatedly.
Oh God.
I yelled at my husband," DID YOU NOTICE THESE?"
"Yes," he said.
"DID YOU GUYS SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THEM?"
"No... I didn't know what to say and I don't think he did either so we didn't say anything. Like a code."
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE THEM DOWN?"
He looked at me like I was crazy. Like he's not allowed to touch them when they're on hangers. Like he knew I would not have wanted him to remove them.
I was completely horrified. Do you see what I did not see for an entire day leading up to this? A day I spent straightening slipcovers, fluffing throw pillows, dusting picture frames?
Here's a wider view of the small corner where
the repair guy spent the afternoon working.
Right at forehead level. So the guys can hit their heads
on them repeatedly during this whole HD process.
A collection of giant lady bras.
I walked by those about a hundred times that day.
Who knew my underwear display from yesterday
was really just a preview of what was to come?
Please shoot me. I was perturbed at myself the rest of the evening, although watching tv in HD took some of the sting out of it. I have to admit he was right. The world is better in HD. As is Hoarders, Hawaii 5-O, Top Chef, and all the other stuff I watch. Even now, we both remark on how clear everything looks on the HD.
The happiest husband means this was the best. Christmas. Ever.
That hole in the wall looks like something I would have done.
ReplyDeleteHe married into the right family, didn't he, Lee? :)
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