Happy Wife Update

Things in the Happy Wife house are going okay. No dating. We still haven't left the house together except to take Mav on some of her beloved car rides. Does that count as a date? We don't even get out of the car. We just drive.

The day after my last post, Mav was peeing blood. This (in addition to having some other problems) led us to A. she has Cushing's Disease or B. she has Chronic Renal Failure. Both bad but one worse than the other. Kidney failure is 100% fatal and essentially untreatable.

Happy wife's husband's reaction was, "Do they have dog dialysis?"

I love that man. Doggie dialysis. Lord.

So, I was ready to throw a party if it was Cushing's disease. I may be the only person ever to say that since Cushing's sucks.

Long story short, there was about a week where we went to bed thinking maybe the next night, Mav would be gone. There was a lot of practicing my mantra of "I care about her comfort and her quality of life" in case the news was going to make me hysterical. I needed to be able to access those words in the middle of a complete meltdown.

Thankfully, we have been given some good news for the time being. We have been trying to appreciate every moment, before and after the call that finally came.

Mav probably does not have kidney failure!

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (*Kermit flail*)

We need to retest for Cushing's because all we know for sure is that she has a hell of an antibiotic-resistant urinary infection and her Cushing's test came back, wait for it, "suspicious" (which is probably my favorite test result ever). 4 weeks of giving her the one drug I have a life-threatening allergy to in order to try and beat the infection and then we'll retest for Cushing's.

I'll take it! I WILL TAKE IT. And some Benadryl. So I don't die even though I'm handling her medication fully gloved and practically sterile.

I should still be upset, I guess, but I was so stressed thinking that maybe we'd be putting her to sleep at, oh, like any moment, that I am totally fine. A lot of it may just be me un-bracing myself. I braced the sh*t out of myself. I kept my mind occupied. The hubby couldn't even channel surf because then my brain had time to wander. He was all, "Do you want to talk about it?" and I was all, "WHAT PART OF 'I AM BARELY HOLDING IT TOGETHER' IS CONFUSING? NO. NO I DO NOT. PICK A FRICKIN' SHOW AND IF YOU MAKE ME WATCH TURTLE-MAN FOR ONE MORE MINUTE, I WILL BURN DOWN THIS HOUSE."

We started a new-to-us show we both agreed on and that's been our together entertainment ever since.

Thank you, Rescue Me. *Very animated claps for Dennis Leary*

Also, sort of sad eyes for Dennis Leary as we watch more and more. Such a funny and dramatic show that is also dark. So dark. Really, really dark. Someone needs to give Dennis Leary some cake or something. Stat!

When we haven't been watching Rescue Me, the hubby's been working and I've been busying myself in all sorts of ways.

Watched Breaking Bad. All of it. Am now caught up with Breaking Bad.

Organized all the papers on my husband's desk. For fun. He has not gone through anything since January. I also found 2 receipts from 2008 and one from 2006. ON HIS DESK. RANDOMLY.

I made him elaborate binders of all his receipts and other papers. Elaborate, elaborate binders.

I made massive quantities of food for the husband for Ramadan. Never have I enjoyed chopping like I have enjoyed chopping. Why use canned tomatoes and tomato sauce when I can chop a thousand tomatoes? I'm helping. I'm using fresh ingredients! Healthy, healthy.

Ramadan starts either tomorrow or Saturday.

I was all *gasps*, "Do you mean to tell me, Honey, that my whitey-white Weimaraner Puppies Wegman calendar is wrong? Crackers be crazy!

(Our Weim calendar says Ramadan starts TODAY!)

And then we laughed for a long time because I can't say "crackers" all racist-y without being sort of flattered because I happen to love crackers. I mean, have you seen the all new Ritz/Triscuit/Wheat Thin varieties? The cracker aisle in your local supermarket is now filled with crackers flavored with all these herbs and (hoity-toity voice inserted here) artisanal cheeses. I'll be a cracker. Vermont White Cheddar Wheat Thins? Um, yes please. Nom nom nom. Yummy.

Then, I went all Lent-y on Ramadan by saying I am going to give up shopping... Since I can't fast like a normal person anymore. I'll end up in the hospital. Which is not the point of Ramadan. But it is definitely going to be difficult for me as well as incredibly beneficial to our finances and our marriage. IT'S ON!

When does that start again?

Literally, someone just delivered a box to the front door. Like right now. Mav is barking like crazy.

Well, that's it from here for now. Obviously, the sooner Ramadan starts, the better.