Appropriate Footwear

Our mini golf date is coming too fast! I'm not ready!

There are a lot of things I used to do to get ready to go on a date with the man I eventually married. I very meticulously picked out my clothing beforehand. Sometimes I did this a week or two beforehand. He rarely saw me without make up for the first 2 years that I knew him. I had a hair dresser in Indiana who was the first (and so far only) hairdresser who was able to make my hair pretty for longer than the day I got my hair done. I kept Bath and Body Works in business by making sure that I had matching shower gels, lotions, and mists. I never wore the same thing twice, had my lashes curled and lips glossed, and smelled like a garden.

Cut to the present day. I never wear make up (big bonus points for a husband who whenever I lament about this comments, "You're so much prettier without it!"). I live in a handful of my favorite sweats and tee shirts. And my hair has been waging an ugly, ugly war against me since 2006.

The only thing that I still shop for and wear with the same frequency and style that I did as a girlfriend and not a wife is shoes.

I own a lot of really adorable shoes. Really, really adorable. There is little a high more enjoyable than a shoe shopping high. Some people have a favorite season of the year. Mine is fall and a lot of that is because it is BOOT season. Ah, boots...

Sorry, I drifted away there. Anyway, none of my current shoe options (read: summer shoes) are contenders for the comfortable awards. Some are difficult to walk in and are worn when I get to say, "Park close!" to wherever we are going. My husband cannot wrap his head around uncomfortable shoes. Not only does the man not try on clothing, he doesn't even try on shoes when he shops. Granted, he shops about every 5 years, but still. How do you even? I can't figure? I don't know how he does it but he does.

He is adamant that he finds me just as attractive without the shoes I love but I just can't turn away from them. This year, it was any sandal with plaid. And my favorite pair from last year was about as much of a non-understatement as you can make. I felt like I was in the movie 300 and that I was awesome in it with those (picture above). I was also my goal height. Which is however tall I am in those shoes.

I know there is no way that I can maneuver a mini golf course in those puppies.

Plus, we're going to need sunscreen. And insect repellent. And I have to wear a hat because I am so fair skinned and thin haired that my scalp will burn through my hair. Attractive, right?

This is also a fairly athletic date. My husband is very athletic. I, on the other hand, sometimes have trouble with things that require any physical abilities.

Yesterday I moved the kitchen table so that I could scrub the tile floor. After a routine 15 minutes, I got up to get more water, as I had probably 10 times already. I managed to stand up underneath the large light fixture that hangs over the table when I have not moved it out of the way. It probably comes up to my chest, to give you a height idea. And it has like 10 large light bulbs on it so it is not a diminutive fixture. I rose up into it like it was going to be a halo around my head. Which is fitting if you think about it since I did nearly kill myself. I did it so fast and forcefully I almost knocked myself unconscious and caused it to swing back down and nearly pull itself out of the ceiling (since I'd raised it into the air with my head, then immediately fell to the floor, not giving it time to come back down without some serious help from speedy, speedy gravity).

I wonder how badly one can hurt oneself in mini golf. I think I am about to find out. This is going to be fun. A fun date. Fun. What was I thinking?