Bad Isley!

Well, it's January 25th and every day for the past 4 or 5 days, I've said something along the lines of "today is not my day" and muddled through. I don't have much to be down in the dumps about, but I'm just not the happy and pleasant person I would prefer to be.

Lots of little things have been bugging me. Things I need to do but haven't started on (basement, I'm looking at you).

Things not working out the way I wanted. Missing Idina Menzel as I mentioned in my last post. Getting 4 pairs of curtain panels delivered and having every single one be not quite right. Need to return those. Just add it to the list.

General annoying the crap out of me stuff like a rapist going to the Super Bowl, having salads for supper (ewww), and falling on black ice in the wee hours of the morning a foot outside the front door. I'm fine for the record, just a couple bruised knees and that wind knocked out of you feeling.

Last night, Mav got me up about every 90 minutes, to the point that when the hubby was off to work and I was up again, he asked, "Have you had any sleep at all?" I just sort of shrugged and mumbled something I am sure was incoherent.

I slept in and when I woke up, I felt a little better. I called the plumber (boo-yah!) and opened the curtains to let some light into the house. I decided to take a shower and put on non-pajama clothes.

When I pulled back the shower curtain, Isley, our grey and white cat, was in the tub. Hanging out. I was swishing mouthwash because I'm ever the multi-tasker, so I couldn't tell him to move. I gently nudged him with my foot, which he took to mean, "Let's shower together." Because that's not weird at all.

Once the water got going, he decided to leave the tub. Usually, he sits on top of the toilet seat lid (which is down) and hangs out. I started to hear some strange noises. I kept pulling the curtain back to check on him. He was right at the shower curtain, on the floor, eyes wide. He was playing with something, batting it around on the floor. I didn't see anything, so I didn't think anything more about it. Sometimes they'll chase a piece of dirt or lint. I don't know why we buy them toys.

Now, today is the anniversary of my gram's death. I can't believe so many years have passed. Last year, I barely even noticed it when the day came and went. I was so freaking proud of myself. See, I thought, I am okay! I didn't have any type of meltdown or even a good cry. I lived with my grandma for a lot of years. I feel like I had a whole lifetime with her, like that time in my life was enough to to fill up all things for me. When I met my husband, I was amazed. I thought, "I can't believe I get a second life!" I think as the time with him goes on, it is easier for me to let go of the time before him.

This is a big difference from, say, the first year, when her birthday came and my husband (then my boyfriend) had his ex-girlfriend's wedding to attend. That should not have been a big deal but the fact that he was not going to be with me on her first birthday after her passing made me completely lose my sh*t. He ended up not going (hello, this is why I married this man, he does the right thing even when it's completely ridiculous) and spent the day with me instead.

As I was saying, I felt pretty good this morning. Then, I got out of the shower. I glanced at the floor to see if Isley had been playing with something large and left it out for me to trip over. I didn't see anything on the floor out of place.

I raised my head, and I immediately saw what was missing and what presumably had been making the noise at the hands of Isley. Oh God.

My husband and I don't own a lot of expensive things. Really, the one thing we have worth anything, and granted, a lot of its worth is sentimental, is my wedding ring. It has 10 (albeit small) diamonds, 2 rows of five.

My one nice piece of jewelry.

That I love.

Which was my grandmother's.

That I only take off when I shower and sometimes when I am cooking.

I wear it with a very simple, cheap band, which was still sitting on the bathroom counter. All alone. Next to the spot where my grandmother's wedding ring had been. Sure, my $5.00 Kohls ring is totally fine. The one I have about 5 spares of since it has to last me until both my husband and I are dead.

Isley must have gotten my grandmother's wedding ring and had been batting it all over the bathroom. That was the noise I had been hearing in the shower. Of course, Isley was now nowhere to be found. The scene of the crime was totally empty of kitties.

I started grabbing up all the bathroom rugs, looking in the drain, down the heating vent, behind the toilet. I got on all fours and looked under the cabinet. I started grabbing everything and anything and it was not there. I figured out pretty quickly that it was not in the bathroom. I still made a quick vow to not let anything (not garbage, dirty clothes) be moved until it was found. Nothing in the house was going to be moved until that thing was back on my finger.

I had a quick vision of never being able to take the trash out again or use the sink.

I pushed my feelings away as much as possible. I could feel my pulse race. There was no denying it. Panic was setting in.

I only wallowed for a few seconds, letting the dread sweep over me. I continued tossing things around the bathroom, gaining speed and making a major mess. The mere thought of calling my husband at work all in a tizzy over this made my mouth go dry and my head hurt. I did not want to still be that girl from her first birthday all those years ago, dragging him into all this emotional stuff again.

I finally gave into the fact that my wedding ring was not in the bathroom. I threw open the door.

Started looking in the hallway. Nothing.

The office, which is almost directly across from the bathroom. Nothing.

Bedroom, which is next to the bathroom. Nothing.

On the kitchen floor. Nothing.

I turned the corner into the dining room, all the way across the house, and there it shined under one of the dining room chairs.

I let out a huge exhale of relief. Put it on my finger as fast as I could. I had been up all of an hour and already had experienced more than I wanted for the day.

I've decided to take this as a good sign. Not focus on losing the ring. I found it, right? It's a reminder I see a thousand times a day of both my marriage and my grandma. It's a symbol that has been a part of the happiest times of my life. Years of happiness that I had with her and that I am still having with him.

Today is the day when I guess I needed to really be whacked in the head with that sentiment. Message received, Grams. Please don't do that again!

I will be wrapping up the 12 days of Holy Sh*tmas very soon. Just haven't been in a good enough mood to crank those suckers out. Forgive me and we'll be back to dating posts very soon.