Celtic Thunder Date (AKA I Owe The Husband Big Time)

My husband and I have spent 3 months deliberating and painstakingly not thinking about the date we had this past weekend. Especially after we got the tickets and realized that we had never been to a concert together before. And that our date would be what I called a double date and a half, in that we were going with my parents and my brother.

Add to that, this was going to be the first time everyone was staying in our house. We were really looking forward to it, but with a sort of cautious, don't get our hopes up too high kind of way. What if a cat vomits on them? Or worse, marks them! Oh Jesus. My dad and brother are both way over 6 feet tall. They're going to see all the dust in the high places that I don't even know are dirty.

Normal people would buy mums and pumpkins for a welcoming, warm look. Sure, I wanted to do that, but there were more important things to do. Our version of rolling out the red carpet was buying a new toilet seat (one that doesn't have random blue stains and a tear!) and investing in a couple more towels, since although we've lived here 4 years, it turns out we only have towels enough for 2 people, if you are not including the dog towels. WHICH WE WEREN'T.

My mother loves Celtic Thunder. When she first started talking about them, I thought of the long red haired, Lilith Fair-looking ladies. Which we had also never actually heard sing. But, no, Celtic Thunder is a group of guys. Most look like they are 40 years old, except for the baby of the group, who looks like he's around 8. The ladies are Celtic something or other. Not the same thing.

Anyway, I guess Celtic Thunder has specials on PBS, which is a channel we never watch. That ended up being icing on the cake, since PBS sponsored their concert and in order to get decent tickets, we had to become Uber-Super-Royalty-Level members of PBS. I have a gold speciality PBS card now. Ooooooh. Ahhhhhh. We still don't know what channel PBS is even on.

My husband, who is not one to have broad musical tastes, or really musical tastes in any sort of quantity, handled the whole thing beautifully. You have to think that he's all Rage Against the Machine from 10 years ago and Bach. Not a lot else goin' on there. He's not really a music guy. He did play the violin for years and years, which I find completely adorable and although I've never seen or heard him play, I imagine him all The Red Violin via Joshua Bell, of course.

He spent oodles of time with my family. He didn't hide once! He taught my dad how to use the DVR that my dad just got a month or two ago (since my folks live 7 hours away from us). He chatted with my brother while my mom and I walked the dog around the neighborhood. He didn't complain once about anything. He is such a good husband. The visit went well, and the highlight of it was the concert. He drove through the traffic like a pro. My parents were so thrilled that he drove. It was almost silly how much we all like to be driven around.

Now, I like music. I have a lot of guilty pleasures. I like just about everything. Still, I did not listen to anything by Celtic Thunder on purpose. What if they are my Lawrence Welk? My mom grew up listening to Lawrence Welk because her dad loved them. So, she hates them with a ferocious passion. I figured the hubby and I could sit through anything once. Especially when we all somehow ended up in the the middle of the 5th row behind the orchestra pit. Thanks, PBS.

Traffic almost made us late. Parking ended up okay but almost was a disaster. Finally having an extra pair of hands to use the camera didn't come in handy at all. We took zero pictures mostly due to time not being on our side.

Showing my family the Fox Theater in St. Louis was great. I've written before about this theater. We saw several musicals there. It is stunning. My dad said it was the most ornate theater he'd ever seen.

My husband sat between my mom and me for the first half of the show (then he and I switched).

The lights went down and the guys came out. There were a lot of boy band type screams from the females in attendance. In fact, every single time one of the guys MOVED, as in rose from a seated position or walked across the stage, someone let out the 16 year old girl inside of them. A LOT of these guttural, girlie sounds came from women who definitely had to work to tap into that 16 year old, since she had been out of sight for about 35 years. And I am being very generous there.

I had some kind of uncontrollable giggle fest for the first two songs. Probably because the sound quality could have been better and I was praying that these songs were not in English, because I could not make out one single word. And the screaming, of course. Wow. I think it was bouncing off the 4 tons of hair gel the guys were wearing and flying right back at the audience.

I also think it may have something to do with how my father liked to try to sell Celtic Thunder to us these past couple months.

"They are nothing like a boy band!"

"They're all straight!"

"They're just 4 soloists who decided to sing together! Again, nothing about them says boy band! They are professional singers!"

I would, for the record, not call them a boy band. A man band, yes, but not a boy band. Sure, they could be straight. I mean, miracles happen, right?

My mom said the one was engaged to the conductor's daughter. The one who kept suggestively touching the baby of the group. I swear I almost peed my pants laughing.

My husband sat there kind of in shock. I kept rubbing his hand and he kind of chuckled at all the things I was giggling at. The hormone fueled screams from the audience did not help my giggles. They just didn't stop. Not for the whole show.

I also giggled at one of the 3 lovely Celtic ladies that played a violin in the background. Holy crap. It was more of a stunned laugh actually. Every five seconds, she whipped out another instrument and went to town playing on that. My husband and I started dramatically gesturing to each other, as if under a table, keeping count on our fingers every time she grabbed a piccolo, accordion, clarinet... I sort of thought maybe she needed her own show. Blowin'. My. Mind. I'm not saying Celtic Thunder wasn't a talented group. I'm just saying our eyes were glued to her for a lot of the show. Who can play a 300 different instruments? That lady can.

The actual members of Celtic thunder sang a few songs together. Then, they all sang individual songs. Every time a new guy came out, every time he would move, the little girl screams would happen. Even if the sound quality had been pristine, it would have still been hard to catch a lot of the words. One of the guys was not in Celtic Thunder but sang as many songs as the other group members... So I don't really understand why he wasn't a member of the group. He didn't get to change outfits and he played guitar, so I guess those distinct differences were what made him ineligible. He looked like Jason from True Blood. So in my head, I kind of thought he might be hooked on v and have a southern accent.

The first half of the concert was all old Celtic songs, or so my brother said. Some songs were not in English (like the first 2, so good for me there! It wasn't just me! It was actually another language!).

My brother looks like a Metallica fan versus a Celtic Thunder fan. I think that is because he listens to Metallica and I can guarantee you he doesn't own any songs by Celtic Thunder. We were all there as a family event. I asked him if he had a favorite Celtic Thunder member during intermission and he answered me with a single, solitary look. That would be translated as NO, I DO NOT. YOU ARE NOT FUNNY, SISTER OF MINE.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, the giggle fest didn't stop for me, but I did try very hard. We had a good time. I asked my husband during intermission what he thought. He said, "It's okay." Which was pretty big praise considering.

I tried to ask my parents if they had a favorite group member, which they did. Since the guys were so similar, they were unable to describe the right person for me. Each one had worn a vest at one point during the first half. So the whole, "you know the one in the brown vest?" did not help me. They were all, hey my jacket is unbuttoned, and now, it's buttoned! And now my jacket is black instead of grey! Ooooo! Look, I have a vest! Look, I have a vest, too! They just kept changing dressy separates like they were in an ad for Men's Warehouse. One guy even gave me a new lifelong dream, when he came out in the world's most cream colored ensemble ever. Oh, Honey. One day. I will dress my husband like a giant ice cream cone.

As I mentioned, all the songs had been old Celtic songs so far. Still trying to figure out who was who's favorite, I asked questions like, "Was he the one who sang about the sailing?"

"How about the one who sang about the water? The river or something?"

Since this could describe all the songs so far, this did not help.

My dad then did a dramatic gesture like he was flagging down a cab and said when his favorite guy sings next after intermission, he'd give me the gesture. My mom also decided to do this. Which of course, made me giggle during the second part of the concert. One guy would start his solo and a parent would suddenly be gesturing wildly at me. Too. Awesome.

After intermission, the lights came down, and the first song was a song that I sang with my class in the fifth grade school concert. They went from old Celtic songs straight into EVERYTHING I DO, I DO IT FOR YOU by Bryan Adams.

The look on my husband's face was priceless. I could have died happy right there. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

The covers just kept on coming. The entire second half. Even U2 was not spared. Or the frickin' Beach Boys. Every time a few notes of the next song hit my husband's ears, his face just contorted into "This cannot be what I am hearing. This cannot be happening."

I later asked my mom about the surfing songs, because I'm no geographical genius, but I was pretty damn sure there was not a lot of surfing going on in Ireland or Scotland or Celtic-land or wherever these guys were from. Turns out that partiuclar singer's family owns the only surfing shop in Ireland (supposedly). As my mom tried to make sure I was talking about the right member of the group, I described him as, "The one who is pretty, like a lady." Yep, that was the one.

Oh, my goodness. I have never been so tickled. It's not like anyone was suffering through the show. I do think we all handled it very well. The group had lovely voices and the crowd was very happy to be there. It was a full house for sure. The hubby and I could have seen worse for our first concert together.

My mom loved it, my dad enjoyed it, and my husband and brother were just kind of shocked into a Celtic world against their will. I heard my dad got to listen to Celtic Thunder CDs the entire drive back home. We're all meeting up again in a couple weeks to see a comedian we all like. This time, the hubby and I will be traveling to meet them closer to the family's neck of the woods. I will definitely tease the husband and tell him we're going to listen to Celtic Thunder in the car. Don't tell him I'm bluffing and that I don't own any Celtic Thunder songs yet!