Sittin'

What ever will we do on our date this weekend?

Will we succumb to the easier, often more delightful, and certainly more refreshing staying at home on the couch in our pajamas? Or, the non-date, as it were?

Will we shower? Should we simply set that as a goal?

Since my husband needs to go into work at some point this weekend, should we pretend it is not the weekend? That's one way to bypass any guilt that could come from not spending much time together.

Will we figure that next week's long road trip to see a comedian will suffice as our weekly date?

I suggest a compromise. Something active but not that active.

Fall is here and the weather is lovely. A funny messaging conversation with a friend of a friend turned to bike rides this week. We don't own bikes. It is a nice thought, one that is far away and lofty, like winning the lottery. It sounds hard. Too productive. I'm already doing so well eating more salads (I HATE LETTUCE IN ALL ITS FORMS). Don't push my brain to even think about balance mixed with speed and a side of perspiration.

One of the husband's friends is an avid marathon runner and travels extensively to participate in different races throughout the country WITH his wife. They seem like really normal, fun, funny people aside from that. Can we all pretend not to notice my hanging my head in shame? I won't even walk at an increased pace with my hubby. Unless we have ice cream or something. Wouldn't want that to melt. Anyway, that is beside the point. The marathon runner came down with a nasty cold. It took all my might not to not say, "Maybe it's all that exercising!" I am pretty sure I'm the only one who finds that a hilarious comment. A knee-slapper. But seriously, all that running... Has to have some ill effects, am I right? Yes?

Stupid productive people with their healthy lifestyles and their enjoyment of vegetables.

Thinking about how much I do not enjoy activity and how there are lots of fun, reasonably athletic things we could do together on a date this time of year caused me to think about what I really do enjoy.

Sittin'. I enjoy sittin'.

No, no, to be fair... I don't enjoy it. I love it. I love sittin'.

Sittin' on the couch, watching television. Sittin' and eating our meals at home or in a restaurant. Or in the car. Or on our elusive picnic. That would also involve sitting.

Sittin' in front of my computer in the office. Sittin' at my craft table.

Sittin' anywhere with a kitty on my lap. Sittin' in the car, driving or being driven around.

At the movies, at a theater, at a game.

In an Adirondack chair, at the dining room table from my childhood, in a recliner, on the floor in front of a fireplace.

We have a push mower but I remember the days of a riding lawn mower. Sittin' is way more enjoyable. Plus, there's MORE POWER, ala Tim from Home Improvement... Wow, I just aged myself there. How old am I again? 60?

The dentist would be intolerable if he didn't let me sit the whole time. Actually, just about anywhere frustrating or scary or downright annoying is practically pleasant due to sitting, if sitting is available. DMV. Customer service line at any store. At the laundromat. In a classroom. On a bus. At weddings. at funerals. Waiting for your car to be repaired.

Going through the mail, watching anything on PowerPoint, sewing back on a button, filing papers, having bloodwork drawn, and anything that has to do with airplanes. As much as I hate flying, at least there's sittin' on airplanes.

Sitting also is instrumental to reading a good book, painting a masterpiece (sorry I just laughed myself into an even more impressive seated position there), and playing card or board games.

Sittin' at the beauty salon. Sittin' on a park bench. A beach. On a horse. On rides at an amusement park. Watching fireworks and parades. Making fireworks (there's your splash of romance! Boo-yah!) and being in parades.

Thanks, Middle America. I've been on more elementary and junior high floats in small town parades than I can count. Seriously. I've been in the bed of a pick up, on an actual float, and riding a horse. Good memories! All sittin'!

If I could get away with it, and if the grocery store wasn't my idea of a very awesome obstacle course or game show only I'm starring it, I'd ride in the carts you can drive. Sure.

In the bathtub, with bubbles. Lightbulb! Showering sucks because it's all standing! Which leads me to... As a lady, I'm always seated in the bathroom. How do men stand? It's kind of sad when I think about how awesome all things sittin' are.

Oh wait... I've told my husband that women don't actually use restrooms in the traditional sense, because we're all rainbows and butterflies and flowers. So of course I mean I sit in there to apply my make up. And style my hair. And put lotion on all sexy-like (for the purpose of this post, I do not just glob it on and go). Bonus information I haven't told my husband... Did you know that when ladies put on lotion, they always do it in slow motion and even if there is no music-playing device around, a Barry White song plays at the most appropriate volume possible. There, now he knows. One more female mystery revealed! Oh, will our love survive?

The more I thought about it... Obviously the list just never ends. Oh, sittin'. How you and I go way back and have a long future ahead of us. I love you, Sittin'.

Unfortunately, I am also somewhat ashamed of this love. I wish I was all "I love track and field" and "I love jogging!" but I don't. Zumba sounds like something Madonna would name her newest adopted African baby. Actually, don't Brad and Angelina have a baby Zumba? Yeah, I'm pretty sure they do, too. *Nods in agreement with you*

All right. Our date this weekend cannot solely consist of a sitting activity. I say we play our Wii, which we haven't played in months. Plus, the past handful of times we've played, we played games where we got to sit. We got Family Feud and Whammy for Christmas last year and played those a couple times, but they aren't active games. So, not only are we to play the Wii, we have to play some games on it where we actually move. Fun!

And getting out of our pjs will still be optional. :) I'm trying to plan for success! Success that doesn't involve 100% sitting.

Until then, I think I'm going to sit here. And enjoy it.